45 Second Reviews: Goldfinger, The Weepies, The White Tie Affair 9th Wonder & Buckshot

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Goldfinger Hello Destiny… SideOneDummy

01:23-02:08 of “Without Me” Whoa. Goldfinger is still around. You know, I could pun the title and be like, “Hello Destiny, we still suck,” or “Hello Destiny, is this all we’ve worked for?” But that would be easy. And not really funny. Kind of like Goldfinger’s career.

9th Wonder & Buckshot The Formula Duck Down Records

00:00-00:45 of “Ready” This sounds like some other song that I can’t think of right now. I think it’s a Kanye-Z-Dogg song. You know the one that talks about how they are cool and we’re not? I dunno, the cover is sweet though, I think it was made in Photoshop by an ITT graduate.

The Weepies Hideaway Nettwork Productions

00:45-01:30 of “Can’t Go Back Now” The first couple of seconds of this sound like a Weakerthans song – then I realized it wasn’t. Interesting huh? This is the sort of music that I imagine fathers of children who are fans of Sufjan Stevens would buy for themselves and then recommend to their kid – the kid would roll their eyes and go back to applying neon stickers to their fixed-gear bicycle.

The White Tie Affair Walk This Way Sony

02:00-02:45 of “Allow Me to Introduce Myself… Mr. Right” You know, I’ve never had any desire or need to have a white tie. Which is unfortunate, because if I did, I could dress like the Hives and run around and hit people. Or I could be in this craptastic band and play boring high-production rock ‘n’ roll with a Michael Jackson wannabe singer. Boy that would be the life.

-- Thorin Klosowski

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