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Beatles on iTunes? Big deal. There's still a number of artists missing

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Last week, the Beatles finally caved into to the digital model, joining other once-holdouts like Pink Floyd and Metallica on iTunes. There are two reasons why artists are still withholding their music from iTunes: They want full-album/no-single purchases, and they want more money.

The full-album requirement makes sense in a lot of cases, but at the same time, any artist who's going to tell us how we're "supposed" to listen to their music immediately lands a one-way ticket on the pretension train. If fans want to listen to just one song, let them, for cryin' out loud!

So there's that. And then there's the money. Some artists don't think Apple pays them enough -- which is probably true once you factor in the fact their labels are skimming a ton off the top. Of course, no music on iTunes (or anywhere else), probably leads to more piracy, not more in-store purchases. Regardless of the real reasons, we've got some ideas of our own about a few of the holdouts.

5. Garth Brooks: Considering Garth Brooks is a pop star, it's kind of bizarre that he'd consider an album as a singular entity. It seems like he should be over that. Really, "Thunder Rolls" is as good as it gets, we don't need the whole album. Regardless, we'd actually venture to guess that for all these years, Brooks has actually thought that Apple Computers were, rather literally, made out of apples. Everyone knows country music folks hate fruit -- and computers, for that matter, unless they're on the end of the bar and have a picture-scramble game with naked girls. 4. AC/DC: If you look in iTunes for AC/DC, all you'll find are a bunch of tribute bands, which seems counterproductive to any image-saving rhetoric the band is likely spouting. Either that, or they somehow don't have enough money yet and think they deserve more than Apple is offering. The real reason they're not on iTunes? Phil Rudd used to beat Jobs up when his family took vacations in Australia. 3. The Smiths: Yes, we know. We're just as baffled and surprised about this one as you are. We figured iTunes was the one thing that might logically explain Morrisey's current rabid Latino-teen fanbase, but alas, it must be something else entirely. As for why the Smiths aren't in the store, that's easy: Apple hates sad people. When was the last time you saw an ad highlighting a sad-app? Yeah, never.

2. Tool: Tool presumably isn't in the iTunes store is because it refuses to break albums into individual songs. Pink Floyd once said the same thing. The real reason: Tool's been releasing the same album over and over for the last decade with different cover art. Remove the covers from the equation, and sooner or later everyone will notice.

1. Kid Rock: Kid Rock is a holdout because his management company doesn't think Apple pays enough -- well, that's what the management company wants you to think anyway. The real reason is that he is actually in the store, but nobody has actually had the inclination to purchase albums from him. Weird we know, but apparently there is some broken coding in iTunes that prevents results from being pulled up if nobody else has asked for them -- just like at the local record store when you ask for some obscure artist nobody has ever heard of.

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