Commentary

"Chill in my Vein" will chill your brain, possibly fatally

The Internet is full of amateur musicians with big aspirations. The talented ones can be truly inspiring and occasionally even rise to superstardom (hello, Justin Bieber!). The less-talented ... well, they are awesome in their own, special way and the very best/worst of them become famous in their own way. Today, we delve deep into the world of the untalented for a song that is in the running for "worst song ever" -- Lori Watt's "Chill in my Vein."

Watt is a goth girl from New Zealand who likes to write songs and sing. Only, she can't write songs or sing, so she mumbles her way through meandering, muffled tunes that challenge the definition of music in a way that no noise band or experimental act could ever hope to do. Her video skills are roughly on the same level.

You'll strain to hear what the hell she is singing, through what sounds like a mouth full of marbles. You'll goggle in wide-eyed wonder as she films herself wandering around the seaside town she presumably lives in, occasionally pantomiming something related to what she's singing. You'll question why you ever hit play on the video clip and how much longer this can possibly go on. You'll wonder how the hell this ever got on TV, even in New Zealand. And when it's all over, you'll have the war wounds and bragging rights that come from a viable claim to having heard a top candidate for "worst song ever."

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Cory Casciato is a Denver-based writer with a passion for the geeky, from old science fiction movies to brand-new video games.
Contact: Cory Casciato