Chronophonic

Your new girlfriend is grabbing a refill from the backyard keg when she overhears one of your buddies slap you on the back and mutter, "So, you tapped that shit, huh, bud?" You frantically nod your head toward the porch and shout, "Shut the fuck up, dude. I never said...

By Morgan Wells

May 6, 2004

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Your new girlfriend is grabbing a refill from the backyard keg when she overhears one of your buddies slap you on the back and mutter, "So, you tapped that shit, huh, bud?" You frantically nod your head toward the porch and shout, "Shut the fuck up, dude. I never said that!" As you watch your dream girl storm away, you try to remind yourself that everybody has an obnoxious asshole friend like that. Enter Jon Piazza and Jake Sanders, the vocalists of Chronophonic.

The group's sophomore album, Footwork, opens with "Bean So Hot," a rock-solid funk jam punctuated with bursts of distorted power chords and bouncy reggae melodies. If every song on the album were as soulful and funky as this one, it may have been easy to ignore the shit factor, but when you actually listen to the lyrics, you begin to wonder what the hell's going on. "Breakfast for Dinner" for example ("Breakfast for dinner/I butter up that sex muffin/Breakfast for dinner/Hotcakes in an easy-bake oven"), presents tolerable ideas that are not quite fleshed out enough. The lines sound thrown together, as if written on a bar napkin. If you crumple up that napkin and block out the trite, unrehearsed-sounding vocals, this album kicks ass! Overall, Chronophonic is a talented, tight, tenacious band, guaranteed to rock a party. Its innovative progressions from classic funk to grinding rock to cutting-edge jazz make you wanna holler, "Gotdamn!" Now, if that drunken frat buddy could just rustle up some tact.

Morgan Wells

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