Whether it’s online or in-person, building an endearing, enduring connection with someone feels impossible nowadays. And if being part of a niche subculture is a big part of your life, the chances of finding a kindred spirit with similar interests plummet. At least that’s the experience for many metalheads.
It’s always a bummer and typically a deal-breaker when you find out someone you’ve taken a liking to considers butt rock “metal” (I'm not naming any bands, but if you know, you know).
That’s just one reason why Amanda Menard organized the first-ever Heavy Metal Speed Dating at Black Sky Brewery.
“Music shouldn’t be a big deal if you’re dating somebody, but it kind of is. I wouldn’t date a guy that’s like, ‘Let’s go catch Phish,’” she quips.
So dress in your battlevest-best and kiss the burning dating darkness on Friday, July 11. The free metal mixer will consist of quick rounds, a couple of minutes each, and if you hit it off with a heartthrob headbanger, there’s a chance to win free concert tickets. Think of it as a gift for a proper first date.
Menard, who is the founder of 4130 Management, came up with the idea after observing how metalheads court one another. She's expecting upwards of sixty people to attend, if online response is any indication. “It turns out that a lot of people are interested in doing it,” she says.
In the golden age of dating apps, you might think there has to be one for metalheads, but while there are a couple of obscure websites, there’s a noticeable gap in the market when it comes to connecting alternative music lovers. “I’ve gone on dating sites in the past and it’s just ended up awful,” Menard shares. “I’m sure other people are looking for like-minded people to meet and not have to be like, ‘What bands are you into?’”
Denver metal crafthouse Black Sky Brewery is hosting the first-ever Heavy Metal Speed Dating on Friday night.
Courtesy Black Sky Brewery
“How many ‘nice shirt name three songs’ icebreakers are going to be used?” they said after Menard shared the Heavy Metal Speed Dating poster in the Colorado Metal Scene group.
“Are you kidding me? You’d be surprised at how many girls listen to heavier shit than you do,” she responded, while including a meme about when women listen to heavier music than their boyfriends.
There are a few more red flags she’s observed in the scene. “I’ve noticed by just people-watching at shows, guys will hold onto their girlfriends so they don’t get hit in the pit,” Menard adds. “I’m sure she doesn’t want to be there, so just give her some space. It’s annoying.”
Also, dating a musician might not always make for a healthy relationship, especially if you’re not into the music they play.
“If a dude is in a band and he doesn’t shut up about his band, that can be annoying. I had a friend break up with a guy over that,” she says. “Sometimes it’s hard to be honest and have to hide it, like, ‘Yeah, you’re great.’ Or just being overly cocky or acting like they’re too tough.”
Of course, there are deal-makers, too, like when someone you’re crushing on can actually read the pile-of-sticks black metal logo on your shirt and goes on to list off that band’s albums. Crazier things have happened, so don’t fret and put yourself out there, local thrashers.
“Everyone should just be laid-back and show up with an open mind,” Menard says. “It’s not going to work out for everybody, but if somebody does hit it off at this thing, I’m more than happy to give them a pair of tickets to a show.”
There are no plans to host another Heavy Metal Speed Dating night at the moment, but that can change.
“If this goes well, we can do a punk one and other ones,” Menard concludes. “At least you know what you’re getting when you’re there instead of getting catfished.”
Heavy Metal Speed Dating, 8 p.m. Friday, July 11, Black Sky Brewery, 490 Santa Fe Drive; admission is free.
