Lindsay Lohan, America's freckled-faced-sweetheart-turned-hot-freakin'-mess is in boiling water yet again. Ms. Lohan is facing thirty days in the slammer after testing positive for cocaine during a mandatory drug test last week. The actress is scheduled to appear before a judge on Friday who will address the probation violation and determine if she will indeed spend a month behind bars.
As Lohan is well known for her court-centered theatrics, we expect Friday's proceedings to be nothing short of a train wreck, and while the actress may not have her sober scruples about her these days, it's safe to assume that she has an iPod. Here are the top five songs Lindsay should leave off her playlist when she heads to court tomorrow.
5) Jay-Z - "I Know"
From his American Gangster album, this song is about the darkness of addiction and the attraction therein. "Now your conscience is interfering like, 'Better yourself!' Like, 'You better get help!' But when that medicine's felt -- we're back together." If life was a Jay-Z song, Lindsay would get the starring role.
4) Guns N' Roses - "My Michelle"
The story of a real-life Michelle, who likes to stay out late at night and do coke for free. Apparently, she stood in her last line for the bathroom some time ago and has since cleaned up her act. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like the same can't be said for Ms. Lohan.
3) USDA - "White Girl"
This group is helmed by Young Jeezy, who emphatically states that all he's got to his name is two bricks and one felony. And this track is so chock-full of street metaphors, it would cause a failed drug test by itself. "White Girl," also a common name for cocaine, leaves little to the imagination.
2) Eric Clapton - "Cocaine"
Eric Clapton says "Cocaine" is a cleverly disguised anti-drug song, and with lines like "Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back, cocaine," it indeed sounds like an admonishing nod to Lohan's ill-advised descent over the past few years.
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1) Robin Thicke - "Cocaine"
Not even Thicke's soaring falsetto and funky groove can change the premise of this joint. He sings of models who wish to stay young, birthday celebrations and angels who will look the other way. If she's expecting Cook County judges to be angels in her case, we're not sure Lohan should expect to be so lucky.