If you haven't seen it yet on TMZ, the Biebs was evidently caught unaware smoking the doob in a hotel room in Newport Beach last week. OMG, right?! Lucky for the teen heartthrob -- in town tonight with his protege Carly Rae Jepsen for a sold-out show at the Pepsi Center -- while the rest of the world collectively gasps at this alleged indiscretion, here in the Mile High City, we're more likely to be appalled by his music than the fact that he was toking up. Just the same, here's a tip sheet of sorts for the Biebs, just in case he thinks about sparking up while he's here.
5. Marijuana is decriminalized...if you're older than 21. Look, Biebs, we get it. Smoking a little ganja helps take the edge off the demands of being an obscenely rich, highly vaunted sex symbol. Trust us: In Colorado, more than anywhere else except perhaps Amsterdam, we get it. Just the same, although it's legal to get lifted in the Mile High City, you can only imbibe if you're of age, which, obviously, you're not, so we just know you're not even going to think about firing up, right? Just in case you are, though, keep reading.
4. You're Justin Bieber. Get a damn vaporizer. Smoking blunts is cool and all, but you made it seem as if you wanted to get caught puffin' on the Dutch. Have your people not told you about the Vape-Pen? It looks just like one of those electronic cigarettes, except it gets you high -- like, really high -- and it's easier on your lungs, so you can hit all those high notes on "Baby." Might as well shop around while you're here, eh?
3. Our hotel rooms have functioning smoke detectors. Unlike whatever hotel room you were chillin' in last week in SoCal, the smoke detectors work here, so you may need to resort to some subversive tactics. Know how to cover up smoking indoors? Ever tried the "damp towel by the door" method? The wetness prevents any smoke form seeping out into the hall where unscrupulous types may be lurking with smart phones in hand. Also, you might want to throw a "Belieber" sticker over the smoke detector (or, all of them depending on how large your suite is), so you don't unwittingly sound an annoying buzzer while you're getting baked.
2. Don't bother carrying your own stash. We see this all the time from celebrities who simply think they are above the law: Don't get caught carrying your own pot. Sure, it's cool to walk into an after party with a bag of the sticky icky, and we all feel good packing the bong when we got some weed worth being prideful of (in Colorado, we are very proud of our weed strains), but honestly, it would be a lot cooler if you had someone to carry the goods for you -- not to mention that the herb is probably much better here than that skunk weed you've been smoking.
1. All eyes ere on you. Dude, it's the 21st century, and if you think you are going to go anywhere and be safe from iPhone/Android cameras, you're not. Everywhere you go, they'll be as many phones filming you as eyes watching you tonight at the Pepsi Center. That said, for chrrisakes, Biebs, use discretion.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Westword's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Denver's stories with no paywalls.