4
| Lists |

Phil Collins parade in Brooklyn: Five musicians more deserving

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Brooklyn's Greenpoint held a Phil Collins parade as an antidote to Valentine's Day (and sincerity, presumably). More than 250 people showed up, and the revelry got so out of hand that the cops had to show up and explain what was acceptable behavior for these sorts of things. Dancing on the roof while singing "Another Day in Paradise" is unacceptable behavior, as it turns out. Below, five artists more deserving of Brooklyn's hipster parade-love.

5. Kenny Loggins If you're gonna honor embarrassing crooners, might as well make it double as an excuse to whip out those boat shoes and captain's hat you all got at thrift stores. He's also got the inspiring facial hair Phil Collins never did. Blouses are coming back, baby.

4. Art Garfunkel Ramp up the irony by honoring rock history's greatest side-kick punchline. Did you know he's released ten solo albums, including one in 2007? Our dad owns at least three of those, and we can confirm that they are awful. Also, he never strayed from the white-man fro, and it has not aged well.

3. Melle Mel Assimilating hip-hop culture is nearly as dear to the die-hard hipster as apathy, so who better than Melle Mel to honor in an off the mark tribute? As the man behind "The Message," Melle Mel is the perfect showcase for how deep their hip-hop roots go. Deep enough to spend half an hour on Wikipedia, suckers.

2. Fergie They'll never see it coming. Brooklyn hipsters are so far ahead of everyone else that they're already seeing the kitsch value in current pop stars like Fergie. Like all ironic passions, they've also forgotten that she's terrible. We could probably get some ghost of DJ Rumba references in this parade as well.

1. Thurston Moore He's already gone through several stages of the hipster messiah story, as prophesied by arrogant rich kids centuries ago. Doesn't have the irony value of the others, but this one could actually turn into some kind of revolutionary march. Forget the paper face masks and mock participation in stupid societal institutions; they could gather a following under the banner of Thurston and march straight to City Hall, where they'd all realize they don't actually stand for anything at all.


Follow Backbeat on Facebook and on Twitter at @Westword_Music.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.