Commentary

Six perfect songs for getting people to leave

It has happened to me a million times. I walk into a bar with the intention of sitting down for a relaxing beverage, and in between the time that I've paid and my first sip of beer, I realize that some 22-year-old is having a birthday party. And that all they want to hear is Usher, Nelly or the Ying Yang Twins. Or Paul Oakenfold.

I could get up and waste $5 to hear maybe six songs by the Alan Parsons Project, but there's always a chance that some hick oil-rig worker with a fat wallet will decide to override my playlist with that "Around the World" song by Daft Punk. Instead, I've figured out a way where I don't even have to get up, and I don't even spend more than $1 to clear out a group of assholes.

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Drew Ailes
Contact: Drew Ailes