If there's any universal truth we can draw from the horror of World War II, it's that Hitler was a real asshole. In the history of real-life villains, really, there's probably none more villainous than der Führer, the very epitome of evil — and therefore a referential touchstone for every person who doesn't like another person. Disagree with somebody's politics? Compare them to Hitler and profit. And while there are obvious problems with this tactic — for one thing, few others have systematically engineered the execution of six million human beings — it remains as popular as ever. Particularly on Fox News.
Probably the biggest surprise, then, when Hank Williams Jr. recently appeared on Fox & Friends and compared President Obama to Hitler was that the hosts of Fox & Friends seemed surprised by the comparison. "It'd be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu," Hank Jr. said of the president's game with House Speaker John Boehner, whose name totally looks like it should be pronounced "boner."
Host Brian Kilmeade seemed incredulous. "I'm not sure I understand that analogy," he said.
By now, every schoolchild will be familiar with what happened next: Ol' Bocephus was happy to clarify that he meant that Obama is "the enemy," and in short order, ESPN, evidently not takin' too kindly to them sentiments, announced it would drop Hank's song "All My Rowdy Friends Are Comin' Over Tonight" — better known as the "Are You Ready for Some Football? song" — from its Monday Night Football coverage. But the truly baffling part is what happened in the following week.
In a chain of bizarre events that can only be attributed to his obviously advanced case of "famous people assuming people give a shit what they think because they are famous" (FPAPGASWTTBTAF) and possibly his dismay at being dissociated from the venerable institution of Monday Night Football, Hank issued a clarification of his earlier statements, explaining that the point of the analogy wasn't really to equate Obama with Hitler — even though when Fox & Friends host Gretchen Carlson pointed out that he had used "the name of one of the most hated people in the world to describe the president," he offered that he was "just telling it like it is." That apparently not being adequate for ESPN to welcome him back into her lovin' arms, Junior then offered a more comprehensive apology the next day. But it still wasn't good enough.
At that point, Bocephus did what any victim of extreme FPAPGASWTTBTAF would do: He wrote a song about it. Actually, he didn't really write a song about it; he just tacked an extra verse onto a song he'd already written about Obama. But here's what's really strange: In it, he directs his ire not at ESPN, but at Fox & Friends. "So Fox & Friends wanna put me down/Ask for my opinions then twist it all around," he mournfully laments. It's worth noting here that Hank's opinion about Obama and Boner's golf game came utterly unsolicited, but whatever. He then recommends that "You can keep Fox & Friends and ESPN outta your homes, too." Thanks, Hank, I'm sure we'll do that.
Because, Christ, is ESPN like the Nazi regime or what?
