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The Los Angeles coroner’s office released Michael Jackson’s autopsy report this week, and the King of Pop proved he still had a few surprises up his red-leather sleeve.
To note: He was thin (136 pounds), nearly bald (he wore wigs), and had tattoos (hairline, eyes, and lips). But these were only the reported findings. Even more surprising, perhaps, were those things that went unreported:
10. Despite his work on Captain EO, he was only in 2-D.
9. His ever-present facemask hid one of the worst pencil-thin mustaches since John Waters.
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8. His nose tissue was not cut away, but moved to create alternate nose just above belly button.
7. His fingers were once broken in Bubbles-related ferris wheel accident.
6. Sequins were found embedded under the nails of his right hand.
5. Straw-scars were found on his buttocks, hopefully from his work on The Wiz.
4. He had gills.
3. He suffered from a bad case of Moonwalk Knee.
2. Even in death, placing Jackson’s hand near his crotch triggers a high-pitched “woo-hoo!”
1. His left leg was wooden, raising questions about his empathic claims that the chair was not his son.
