Juggalos know how to hustle. At their annual Gathering, just about anything you could ever possibly need to have a good time, from drugs and booze to more, uh, creative fare, is available for purchase from wicked clowns advertising their wares via hand-lettered cardboard signs.
Here's a small sampling of the many things you can buy in the Gathering's thriving underground economy.
Sale of alcohol in Ohio is state-controlled, which means no official booze vendors at the Gathering (though if you ask nice and show some ID, the girl at the frozen drinks stand will spike your slushie with a shot or two of vodka). Fortunately, many enterprising souls are on hand to fill this void, including our new friend Dirty, who sells the cheapest beers (two for $3) we could find.
We asked how. Turns out all you gotta do is let our man Paco here pour Captain Morgan into your open mouth for as long as you can handle it. We'll take two, please!
Her shots are a little pricier, but hey, it's homemade.
The preferred Juggalo method of conducting clothing transactions.
Not enough clowns appreciating your witty banter? Then these Hatchetman megaphones are a bargain at any price. (Batteries included, because Juggalos are nice like that.)
Of all the many highs you can buy in the Juggalo marketplace, weed is by far the most popular. This guy was slinging the good stuff.
This one camp covered all the basics.
Not just any water — Canadian spring water, bitches! We hear the burgers are pretty good, too.
Yeah, $40 seems a little steep. But he spent hours clowning up that Big Boy piggy bank. That's right — it's a piggy bank. Perfect for stashing your drugs and/or all those quarters from your thriving Canadian spring water business.
Some Juggalo entrepreneurs prefer the barter system.
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.