We've almost reached the end of our countdown of rap's most dreadful lyrics. Think you can stomach ten more? Good. Purely by coincidence, today's selections feature some of hip-hop's most memorable scientific and mathematical gaffes. And we're not talking anything complicated, here; we mean basic math and elementary science. Included are well-respected artists such as Lil Wayne (again?), Nas, Lil' Fame of M.O.P. and Game. Keep reading for the penultimate edition of the worst lyrics in hip-hop history.
20. Dr. Dre - "Nuthin' But A G Thang"
"Never let me slip 'cause if I slip, then I'm slippin'."
Dre is a master of formal logic. Not many people know this, but he actually got his doctorate in semantics. Here, he postulates the most fundamental properties of cause and effect. Not only that, he demonstrates his theory with a tractionless lyrical career. After this, Dre got the help of some ghostwriters, who are less susceptible to such slippage.
19. Lil' Wayne's verse on Tyga's "Faded"
"She knows my dick/She call that nigga Richard/Prior to me coming/I had to stick my thumb in/Her ass one time/Smell my finger, make you vomit."
Is the whole purpose of the second half of this line just to make a Richard Pryor joke? Must we really be subjected to the image of Weezy sticking his thumb up his lady's pooper for a stupid pun? This goes beyond TMI to the realm of information nobody ever needs to hear -- ever, ever, ever.
18. Lil' Fame - "Half and Half"
"First Family will gradually lift that ass up like gravity/And turn your body frame into a cavity"
Unless Lil' Fame has you attached to some sort of top-heavy see-saw to literally lift your ass up using the weight of your head, a contraption which we'd really like to see, this is not how gravity works. And how do you turn an entire mass into cavity? Unless he's talking about a cavity in the fabric of space -- like a black hole or something -- that would be really impressive.
17. Chingy - "Balla Baby"
"I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian/Like Japanese, Chinese or even Asian."
I think that Chingy does not understand the set/subset relationship. What's next? He'll drive a car or a bentley? He'll drink champagne or Cristal?
16. Lil' Wayne - "The Motto"
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"Almost drowned in her pussy, so I swam to her butt"
How does Wayne manage to drop stinkers like this into smash hits like "Faded" and "The Motto"? We get it; they're club hits, and people aren't exactly worried about the lyrics, but you think at some point, somebody would stop and say, "What the hell am I dancing to?" And what is up with these rappers' fixation with tailpipes anyway?
15. Jay-Z - "It's Hot (Some Like It Hot)"
".38 revolve like the sun round the Earth."
Who do you think knows more about celestial bodies, some 500 years dead geezer named Copernicus or Lord of the Illuminati, Hova, Jay-Z, King of the Roc and Master of the Universe? Yeah, that's what we thought. Don't ever question Mr. Carter.
14. Nas - "Can't Forget About You"
Unforgettable, unsubmittable/I go by N now, just one syllable
As opposed to "Nas," which is... how many syllables? We're not exactly sure what Nas meant by the non-word "unsubmittable," either, but N should have taken his own advice and never submitted these lines.
13. Game - "I Remember"
"Red bottoms let the tongue hang/Got a off-white porchse. #Cum stain"
This hashtag rap thing is getting ridiculous. You say anything that can be tied to the line before it previously, no matter how remotely or insignificant, and that's passable lyricism? No.
12. Foxy Brown - "Affirmative Action"
"32 grams raw, chop it in half, get 16. / Double it times 3, we got 48, which mean a whole lot of cream. / Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight, we back to sixteen..." Foxy Brown must be the worst drug dealer ever. I want to buy drugs from her. The unintentional savings you can catch are probably amazing.
11. Common and Canibus - "Black Republicans"
"I'm your worst nightmare squared/That's double for niggas who ain't mathematically aware."
Oh, the irony of lambasting others for their ineptitude with incorrect mathematical awareness. And we thought Canibus and Common were supposed to be the smart guys! Maybe they're just incredibly fearful of the number two, in which case, their math checks out.
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