By Adam Lovinus
Now of course, all of this is at your own risk, we don't endorse any of it, and the author is speaking strictly from a SWIM's (someone who isn't me) sense of experience here cobbled together from the stories of others.
Band: Beck
Drugs: Cannabis (Indica) + Ritalin
With its lush orchestral arrangements and cello drones, Beck's latest album Morning Phase complements perfectly the dreamy body buzz brought about by a bong load of sexy purple buds. Since this is a festival and not a plush sofa, a quick sniff of study drugs will do the trick for keeping up the proper headspace for the Odelay-era material.Timothy Norris
Band: The Replacements
Drugs: Whiskey + Celebrex
At age 54, Paul Westerberg is alt-rock's elder statesman (he's five days older than Michael Stype). Chances are if you're a 'Mats fan, you're no spring chicken yourself. At this stage in the game, proper pre-show precautions are critical for enduring three days of hard partying in the desert. Stretch, hydrate at a 1:1 ratio, and take your arthritis meds. No need to blow out the lumbar ground-pounding on the first night.Erik Hess
Band: The Knife
Drug: DMT
When it comes to the mindfuckery that the Dreijr siblings choreograph into their live set--a "communal/political/conceptual/imaginational workout experience," aptly put by their press materials--hallucinogens are a must. An LSD trip is too lengthy an ordeal for a Friday night show, but a quick-hitting DMT session will spin you 'round nicely without getting too strung out, leaving the door open for hard-partying the following evenings.Henry Laurisch
Band: Pet Shop Boys
Drugs: Amyl nitrates + Ketamine
The Pet Shop Boys' synthy thump has soundtracked gay-club boogie nights across the globe for 30 years. After a few years of rumored Coachella appearances, what better way to celebrate than with a slutty, sweaty, popper-fueled dancefloor fling, followed by a trip down the k-hole in homage to the duo's 2001 musical, Closer to Heaven?
Nick Vlcek / City Pages
Band: Motorhead
Drugs: Biker meth + rail liquor
A no-brainer, this band's name is '70s slang for a speed freak. Their brand of teeth-grinding, berserker riff rock was born in the nastiest squats around London, laying the foundation of the thrash-punk aesthetic for decades to come. So keep it real--the dirtier the crank, the better. Chase it down with a flask of the cheapest gin available, and hold on for dear life.John Gilhooley
Band: Foster the People
Drugs: Quaaludes
In the face of meh reviews of their sophomore album, Foster the People have been billed pretty high Coachella this year, presumably on the strength of a now three-year-old hit single. When obsolescence is the trip, 'ludes--a once-loved downer phased out by modern benzos like Xanax and Klonopin--becomes the drug of choice.Nannet Gonzales
Band: Empire of the Sun
Drugs: Psylocybin
They say the high desert provides the optimal visual backdrop for a shroom trip. Combine that with the splendor that Aussie concept-rockers Empire of the Sun build into their stage show (imagine Gwar's intensity + Flaming Lips' whimsy) and voila--the perfect setting for getting properly weird.
Timothy Norris
Band: OutKast
Drugs: Cannabis (Sativa)
Take an obese 20 sack and crumble it up into a grape blunt wrap, and follow the funk from that skunk! A nice, uppy sativa high is a good bet any time any place at Coachella, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a more apropo time for it than the Friday night headliner. If only they sold Old English in the beer garden.flickr user Joe Goldberg
Band: Anti-Flag
Drug: None
If there's one time where laying off the sauce is acceptable, it's at the Anti-Flag set, as they're a straight-edge act whose members are also vegan. Sometimes sobriety is a trip unto itself. Mostly this depends on what happened the night before.flickr user return of burno
Band: Anything at the Sahara Tent
Drug: MDMA
Obviously. Judging by the puddles of humanity that gather in and around the EDM tent every night year after year, Molly gets more popular year after year. She'll grind your teeth and cross your eyes until the strobes and bass get you off--it's a old formula that works every time. She's the one Huey Lewis was singing about.Timothy Norris
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