The five best local musical missed connections on Craigslist, illustrated for your amusement

Craigslist is a place where weirdos and miscellaneous miscreants alike can convene in the relative privacy of anonymity without the prying and scrutinizing eye of the public -- well, except for the fact that we're all voyeurs who stalk the web round-the-clock for the latest absurdity to distract us from the soul crushing realities of our everyday lives. Amirite? And everybody knows there's no place better to find such fodder than missed connections. Here's this week's five best musical missed connections, in all their creeptastic glory, unedited and re-imagined by Noah Van Sciver, our resident genius. Spoiler alert: This installment is filled with excessive amounts of PDA and puking. Ah, yes, true love at last.

See also: - Missed Connections from Westword Music Showcase 2011 - Missed Connections from STS9 at Red Rocks - Missed connections from Global Dance Festival

Vanilla Ice Concert - m4w - 24

Well we got about 10 steps and 10 words into the conversation before it went bad. Emily was your name and before we made it to the stage you tossed your cookies :-p. I felt bad but knew you were embarrassed and you disappeared like that. Hope you made it home safe. You were a cutie.. didn't get to tell you that but now you know

In Flames Boulder: LF a Ryan who I talked to after Demon Hunter's set - w4m - 22 (Boulder Theater)

Hey Ryan! I'm the chick who you told your friend to look at cuz you "thought i was hot" but i thought you were waving to me like you knew me so i walked over and we ended up talking for 10-15 min near the bar and bathrooms before I went to go smoke haha. My name is Sam and I have a cool, "atheistic" last name (that i told you, so use that hint). You have gauges and were tall with what looked like to be brown hair, I was short (5'2") and had long, wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and was wearing an in flames shirt (the Sounds of Playground Fading shirt) but it was a little tied up, showing a purple shirt underneath and a black skirt with some sequins, a black leather jacket, and leather cutoff gloves. I talked a bit about how I used to be addicted to a particular video game and how it was great to be a part of the real world again :P

It will be crazy if you actually find this post...so we shall see! Gonna post this on the boulder craigslist as well.

THAT CONCERT ROCKED!! Hope you enjoyed in flames. Stay cool!

--Sam S.

Great Blonde Hair at The Darkness Concert - mw4w (Summit Music Hall/ The Darkness concert)

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Hi, you stood next to my GF & I at The Darkness show on 2-1-13. You were a really cute blonde with great hair & a great smile. We noticed you looking at us & want to get to know you better. Oh yeah, & you hit my J with me & my buddy. Write back!!

Pretty blonde at The Gamits show (2/15) (Lost Lake Lounge on Colfax)

To the pretty straight-haired blonde with the rockin' black boots--just wanted to let you know how awesome you looked. I would have paid you the compliment in person but your boyfriend was there and didn't think it would go over too well :) Hope I see you again some time!

Latina at the Papa Roach Concert - m4w - 32 (The Fillmore)

We were towards the front. You had on delicious fish net stalkings, my hands were running up and down them. Your hands were up my shirt and then down my pants. You put my hand on your breast, mmmm so good! God I wanted to fuck you right there. Pero mi esposa fui alli. Still didn't stop you or myself, lol. Love to find you again if you're up for it ! I know I'd love to get my hands l over you!

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