Top 5 greatest Super Bowl halftime shows

See also: Super Bowl commercials: Elton John, Flava Flav, Echo and the Bunnymen and more and Video: M.I.A. flips off Super Bowl audience during halftime show

Judging by the voluminous groans echoing across the country, word is spreading that Madonna will be headlining the Super Bowl halftime show, alongside Nicki Minaj and M.I.A.

Coincidentally, ahem, both women are featured on Madonna's new single, "Give Me All Your Luvin'," the video of which premiered just a bit ago, and the decision to give the trio top billing for halftime reeks of either "synergistic" corporate marketing or someone's truly epic fail in the decision making department.

This could be the worst thing to happen to halftime since New Kids On The Block took the honor from Carol Channing in 1991. Rather than think too deeply on the bizarre cultural mashup that is about to be unleashed amidst America's two most important halves of football, we'd recommend distracting yourself with memories of better times. Choose from one of the best halftime shows ever and use it as a substitute for this year's spectacle.

5. University of Arizona & University of Michigan Marching Bands, with the Anaheim High School Drill Team, 1967 Despite the fact that this was the first ever meeting between the best teams from the AFC and NFC, it wasn't even a sell out crowd. The people that could've filled those seats missed out. The inaugural Super Bowl halftime show was a shocker, featuring not one marching band, but two! It was a feat so stupendous they didn't even attempt it again the following year. Two marching bands and a high school drill team from Anaheim. Can you imagine something so simple gracing one of the nation's biggest stages now? This was an unprecedented event, but it wasn't designed to entertain millions of TV viewers; just the crowd in the stadium who were waiting for the pep talks to end and the game to resume.

4. In Living Color (Live), 1992 Technically not a band, or even an officially sanctioned Super Bowl halftime event, the Wayans' sketch comedy show aired a live broadcast on Fox in direct competition with CBS's scheduled Super Bowl XXVI halftime show. The Wayans deserve a medal of honor for offering a much-needed alternative to that year's official halftime entertainment, which starred figure skating champions Brian Boitano and Dorothy Hamill (WTF?!). While it wasn't the first competitor to launch a ratings assault against the official halftime show, it was probably the most direly needed. The episode also scores extra points for Damon Wayan's prescient "wardrobe malfunction" during the "Men on Football" sketch.

3. Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, P.Diddy, Kid Rock and Nelly, 2004 Surprised this isn't #1? Come on. Besides adding "wardrobe malfunction" to the American lexicon, this wasn't exactly the best show ever. Yeah, there were theatrics, excellent production design and a sense of relevance sorely missing from subsequent years (in order to avoid additional scandal and FCC fines), but this wasn't the best year ever (except for the fraction of a second for which it will forever be remembered). Who knew Diddy, Kid Rock and Nelly were there too? That's not a good sign. If you really want to have your mind blown, think about the fact that Nelly and Carol Channing are tied for the most individual appearances during Super Bowl halftime shows (two each).

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Patrick Rodgers

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