Westword Music Knowcase: We sucked. Big time.

After all our hype, all our shit-talking and all of our preparation (okay, preparation consisted solely of previously mentioned hype and shit talking, we admit it), we came, we played and we got our ever-loving asses kicked at our own music Knowcase.

Yeah, we came in a desultory sixth place. Sixth? Sixth! Sixth... yeah, that's not even respectable in a "but we were so close, if only we hadn't forgotten to write down that one answer in round three" sort of way, nor bad enough to claim that we weren't really trying. We were trying. Trying and sucking like an Electrolux.

Now, we could explain it away by pointing out we only had five members for most of the night, bringing up the utter lack of questions about jazz and '80s post-punk (two of our biggest areas of strength!) or saying, "It's just a game, and we played for fun and had fun playing." But that would be too easy, petty and accurate. Instead, here's a list of the top ten reasons/excuses we didn't win.

10. Every team that beat us used performance-enhancing drugs. We unwisely stuck with beer. 9. Our leaderless team suffered internal strife and anarchy, leading to multiple coups d'etat, during three of the rounds. 8. Where were the questions about Wizard rock? We re-read the entire Harry Potter series to prepare, and nothing! 7. We couldn't raise enough money for a proper bribe. 6. Everyone on our team was too concerned about the BP oil spill to concentrate properly. Way to not care about the environment, "winners"! 5. We incorrectly believed there would be a dance-off round, so spent most of our time preparing an elaborate, choreographed routine that we never got to use. 4. We're obviously much better at shit-talking than actual quiz-taking. Quizzes are hard! 3. We're saving our best performance for the playoffs. 2. We're pretty sure eventual winners Donnybrook had one member that was actually an expensive and illegal music-trivia robot.

And the No. 1 reason we did so poorly at our own Westword Music Knowcase is...

1. The other teams were just better than us. But wait until next year...

You can read the official Geeks Who Drink wrap-up, including the final scores and standings, over at their blog.

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