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As if we didn’t have enough reason to drink before, the Denver Broncos are now staring down another losing season, with a 1-4 record after the first five games of the year.
The situation isn’t likely to improve in the near future as the team faces juggernaut AFC West division rivals the Kansas City Chiefs twice in the next three weeks – the first game takes place tonight, October 12, and the second on Sunday, October 29 – and the reprieve of a middling Green Bay Packers team that should still soundly beat them in between.
But don’t fret, Broncos fans: There is still a chance to have some fun while watching the team go down in flames, especially in the matchups against Kansas City, with pop superstar Taylor Swift expected to be in attendance for the first Chiefs-Broncos showdown tonight on Thursday Night Football, as she’s dating Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce.
TMZ reports that she will be at the game in Kansas City, Missouri.
Just as we did for Week 1, Westword has devised a drinking game to go along with the action on the gridiron, which has been updated to account for recent developments, including possible Swift-related antics.
Taylor Swift in the house for TNF 🙌 #DENvsKC pic.twitter.com/Swf7x9SuGf
— NFL (@NFL) October 12, 2023
Broncos Country, Let’s Drink
Take a sip when someone mentions Russell Wilson’s future. The Broncos brought in NFL veteran quarterback Russell Wilson before the 2022 season, signing him to a minimum $156 million contract – but Russ just didn’t cook like he had promised, often looking lost in the passing game and unable to turn on the jets like he used to. He’s had some ups and downs this year, at times looking like his old self and at times turning the ball over when he really shouldn’t. If the Broncos end up with the top pick in the upcoming NFL draft, they’re likely to pick USC star quarterback Caleb Williams, putting Wilson’s NFL days on shaky ground.
Take a sip when anyone says “Let’s ride.” Last year, the Broncos and Wilson both slipped in his signature catchphrase whenever they could. Now the team has moved away from the “Let’s ride” buzz – but people are still using it: Kicker Will Lutz tweeted it out when he was acquired by the Broncos in August.
Take a sip when the Broncos’ new giant scoreboard is mentioned. Over the offseason, ownership invested $100 million into changes at Empower Field at Mile High. The most obvious is the new gargantuan scoreboard in the south stands – the NFL’s fifth-biggest and tallest in North America.
Take a shot if Ciara gets on camera. Wilson and his wife, Ciara, announced this summer that they are expecting their fourth child (and third together). If the singer, who is one of Denver’s highest-profile celebrities, shows up, take a shot in her honor.
When Sean Payton gets interviewed on the sidelines, take a bong rip. Payton is notoriously tight-lipped, so there aren’t really any signature phrases to play with. But in April, a video that appeared to show Payton hitting a bong went viral online. “Pretty sure this is just a required daily task in Denver,” Redditor ShawshankException commented. It’s unclear whether the video is fake, real, or if it is actually Payton – but we’re embracing the concept.
If the Broncos score, take a shot or finish your drink. Out of its sixteen games last season, the team managed just one touchdown in nine of them and zero in one, so you should be good to go (but don’t drive after you play!). The team’s highest number of touchdowns in a game last season was four, which it achieved twice. Maybe give yourself half shots if the scoring picks up.
During timeouts, chug water. No hangovers here.
Three Taylor Swift-specific rules: The first time Swift is shown on camera, take thirteen sips in honor of the singer’s favorite number.
If Swift gives another “Let’s fucking go!” as she did after a Kelce touchdown during the Chiefs game against the Bears, finish your drink.
For every cringe-worthy Swift pun the announcers make, add a dollar to your “white wine purchasing fund” and use the earnings to buy yourself (or maybe your crush) a bottle of the “You Belong With Me” singer’s favorite beverage.
Enjoy!
