Those of us in charge of determining Schmucks of the Week don't usually tell folks how not to be chosen for this august honor.
That would be bad for business.
But today, we're making an exception.
Our advice: If the crime you're accused of committing isn't all that unusual, you're probably in the clear — unless you do something crazy when you're arrested.
That's the lesson learned by nineteen-year-old Ayana Barriteau of Colorado Springs.
On her Facebook page and photo gallery, Barriteau comes across as a perfectly nice person — and since (contrary to popular belief) we like to think the best of everyone, we feel confident she is.
Given that, she must have simply been having the sort of bad moment all of us suffer from time to time when, at around 7 a.m. on Memorial Day — Monday, May 30 — she was part of a disturbance serious enough to attract the attention of the Colorado Springs Police Department.
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According to the CSPD's always lively police blotter, the cops on the call tried to place Barriteau under arrest — something she apparently didn't like too much.
Because she bit two of them.
The officers suffered only minor injuries in the incident. But we're guessing the resulting pain only hardened their resolve to bust her. She was arrested on suspicion of assault and booked into El Paso County jail.
Presumably by the skin of her teeth. Here's a look at her booking photo.