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Denver kids returned to school today. To celebrate, we scoured YouTube for the five best “first day of school” videos.
After watching more than a dozen, we came to a stunning conclusion: Teenagers are offensive. It was hard to find a single video without a curse word, offensive taunt or sexual reference. So enjoy! If nothing else, be glad you’re no longer fifteen.
The best part of this video is when she gives advice about the age-old question of whether to wear your trendiest outfit on the first day of school or the second day of school. (The second, der.) Also, watch for her notes to herself. It’s a cardigan! A cardigan!!
The Sexinators? What?
The slow motion water-drinking scene is cinematic genius.
This is so very high school. “I already ate, asshole.”
Five stars for polar bear pajama pants, indeed.