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Bedbug alley mattress faces longer wait for large-item pickup: Kenny Be's Sign Language

The proliferation of large items seen lining Denver alleys would seem to indicate that residents are just itching to complain about the lack of pickup service. Budget cuts have forced the city's solid-waste-management department to scale back service from once every six weeks to once every nine. The money that the city is saving in reduced collection service is best seen in a Capitol Hill tour of cushionless sofas and homeless napping mattresses... Bedbug infestations can take months to clear, and that is with diligent pest control. People who have been infested often are driven to the brink of insanity and suffer a post traumatic stress disorder of hyper-vigilant cleaning and repetitive mattress disposal. It's sad, but true.

The infestation has spread so wide that the large-nibbed felt pen used to write on the mattress seen in the photo above was probably a "Bedbug Infested Mattress Marker" available at Bedbugs, Bathbugs & Beyondbugs

Page down to see how dogs like to "mark their territory" on your old love seat...

If you lived here, you'd be home now. You wouldn't even have to go inside, because that alley couch gives you a prime front-row seat for watching the daily dog-shit show.

Page down to see unwanted sofas commanding prime inner-city parking spaces...

While taking the picture of the loitering love seats above, I was startled when the garage door on the right was suddenly flung open and I was met face-to-face with the equally startled occupant. I didn't have to ask if the sofas presented auto access problems, because the garage was packed to the rafters with boxes of stuff.

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The discarded alley furnishings of the wealthy are different, as you'll see below.

I wasn't so much impressed by the modern leatherette styling as I was by how the color of the cushionless chair matched the sports coupe beyond, suggesting a complete indoor-outdoor lifestyle integration.

And, finally, page down to discover where all the cushions go.

The upended chaise lounge in the photo above is also missing its cushion. It dawned on me while taking these pictures that it could be the busy work of a cushion collector. I imagined the hard-working proprietor of a locally owned business where customers would shop for affordable replacements of worn sofa cushions. A Google search revealed that persons interested in this activity are typically "cushion sniffers" who like to use their collections as bed pillows. It seems that reduced garbage collection has everyone raising a stink!

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

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