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Bill Ritter's top 5 accident-related announcements on Bike to Work day

At 7:30 a.m. this morning, just over three months after his rib-rattling bicycle accident, Governor Bill Ritter is scheduled to talk about Bike to Work Day at the Civic Center breakfast station at Civic Center Park.

No, we don't anticipate that he'll collapse in hysterics from a bad case of PTBCS (Post Traumatic Bike Crash Syndrome). But here are the top five announcements we expect him to make.

5. Introduction of scientifically advanced Nerf curbs at all Colorado intersections.

4. Two-wheelers in Denver's ambitious B-cycle program to be outfitted with air bags.

3. Research funding made available to develop Kevlar biking clothes.

2. Future governors to peddle to work on stationary bike mounted in back of state-owned truck.

1. Bike to Work Day still safer than Bus to Work Day.

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts