The bill — which will almost certainly amount to no more than a complete waste of time and taxpayer resources — would compel the United States comptroller general to report on all Department of Justice payments to social media companies since January 2015. “Big tech is in bed with the FBI and other agencies to the point where Congress can’t tell where one ends and the other begins,” pronounced Boebert in a prepared statement. “The millions of dollars sent to Twitter that we know of during an election cycle, when they were at the same time censoring the Hunter Biden laptop from hell, is incredibly concerning.”
Boebert especially seems to resent what she calls the “incestuous relationship between big tech and the federal government.” No word on her take on the longtime incestuous relationship between the GOP and big oil — including her husband, Jayson, and his million-dollar payout for “energy consulting” that only happened after his wife won Colorado's 3rd Congressional District. Or her own obsession with Twitter itself, which she used furiously during the State of the Union to criticize President Joe Biden, blaming him for closing schools during COVID...when that was Donald Trump.
While her bill is aimed at the pre-Musk Twitter, she claimed that it was a "huge"coincidence that Twitter went down following a contentious House committee hearing the next day. It was called a hearing, at least, but it was more a long-winded Boebert tantrum on how she'd been "shadow banned" on Twitter, which has not happened, and neither did some mysterious retributive action on the part of current Twitter employees reacting to the former Twitter employees being grilled by Boebert. It was a post-hoc argument, completely fallacious. And before you protest, Representative: "fallacious" has nothing to do with blow jobs.
So yes, Boebert is once again yelling loudly about an issue that very few care about, an issue that very few believe is even an issue, despite the fact that Colorado sent her to Washington for a second time — if only barely — to fix real things that are actually broken and in need of repair. Instead, once again her constituents are seeing only showboating, a too-apparent and shallow yearning for the national stage.Twitter goes down right after we have our hearing with worst of the Twitter 1.0 crew.
— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) February 9, 2023
It might just be a coincidence, but that’s surely a HUGE coincidence.
Not to mention…that acronym is just terrible.
First off, if we go by the standard rules of acronym creation, it should technically be ELOSN, because there’s no reason other than forced convenience for the “social” in “Exposing Lewd Outlays for social Networking” to remain uncapitalized. Secondly: lewd? That’s the best L-word Boebert’s team could come up with for a pejorative that accuses the DOJ of improper funding. The word "lewd" carries with it a suggestion of improper and unwelcome sexual behavior. I mean, “lawless” is just sitting there, if she was trying super hard to please Emperor Musk and his Twitter-empire new clothes. The acronym isn’t just incorrect; it’s sort of embarrassing.
But then, Lauren Boebert is nothing if not embarrassing.
At least there exists a thin connection between Musk and the stated purpose of the ELON bill, since the proposal is focused on Musk’s troubled social media company before his takeover, a scandal that’s been completely trumped up. (Is that a term that can now be ascribed to bullshit of a Donald Trumpish quality? Because it should be.) But that thin connection is more or less where the rationality ends.
The bill already has several co-sponsors, exactly who you might expect would sign on to a stunt rather than anything approaching effective governing: both Matt “How am I not in jail yet?” Gaetz and Boebert wannabe and Santos-like prevaricator Anna Paulina Luna from Florida; Illinois’s Mary “Hitler was right on one thing” Miller; Texas’s corrupt and fired former cop Troy Nehls; Arizona’s Paul “I’m so fundamentally stupid that not even my family votes for me” Gosar; and a relative newcomer to the crazy people in Congress, Missouri’s Eric Burlison, who’s mainly notable so far for comparing DirectTV’s elimination of NewsMax from its cable lineup to the Holocaust. Inspiring political figures, all.
Boebert should spend less time grandstanding and more time watching a call for her resignation from grassroots religious group Faithful America, which had named her a “false prophet” last year. That group just started a petition condemning her appearance in Texas last week, when she prayed for President Biden and then recited Psalm 109. That psalm, which Faithful America claims has been previously weaponized by other far-right politicians, calls for the death of its subject — here, the sitting U.S. President.
This is at least the second time Boebert has been caught using this reference — the first time was here in Colorado, at the June 2021 Charis Christian Center Family Camp Meeting. So she can't even hide behind her significant ignorance; she knows exactly what she's suggesting. It's part of her Christo-fascist standup routine.
“Lauren Boebert must publicly apologize and resign from Congress immediately, before she inflicts any more harm on democracy or the church,” said Faithful America’s executive director, the Reverend Nathan Empsall. The petition received over 10,000 signatures in the first 24 hours.
Since she's unlikely to accede to that request, we have another suggestion for the acronym-loving Boebert. Representative, unless you have something to contribute to the serious, real and pressing issues facing our state and America writ large in 2023, maybe just STFU.
