Film and TV

Carmelo Anthony is La La Vazquez's bitch on reality show: She shoulda been Nuggets GM?

Basketball fans everywhere have been debating where Carmelo Anthony is likely to land, with Chicago and New Jersey being the most rumored locations of late. Nuggets general manager Masai Ujiri insists Denver's still in the running, but few believe he has a shot. If only he had the power over Melo that Anthony bride La La Vazquez displayed on last night's premiere of VH1's La La's Full Court Wedding, on view below:

Thus far, the show has been getting lousy notices, with the New York Daily News giving it just two stars out of five and declaring, "Reality TV hits an all-time low with this nonsense."

That's a serious overstatement -- but, truth be told, the ep was boringly narcissistic, with the main drama coming from La La's uncertainly over whether she should stick with an $8,000 custom Vera Wang gown or a new pink one she tried on during a visit by her mom. Scintillating! There was also a cameo by pal Tyrese Gibson, who asked her the stunning question: Are you ready to be a wife?

She answered "yes." That was a close one...

Melo watchers didn't get much of a chance to see the groom. He showed up only briefly -- but when he did, it was mostly to defer to La La about almost everything involved with the wedding. He only insisted on a band and red velvet cake.

If members of the Nuggets brass knew Vazquez had such a handle on her man, they would have offered her Ujir's job. But would she have taken it? Doubtful -- because Colorado seems to be the last thing on her mind. All the action in the first episode takes place in Los Angeles, with no Denver sighting whatsoever. For instance, she and Gibson lunch on Melrose Avenue, at a street-side cafe perfect for letting her be seen in the company of someone famous. Denver simply doesn't offer that kind of glitz.

It's just one more indication that Melo isn't long for the Nuggets. Click below to watch the first episode of Full Court Wedding.

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts