Is this thing still on? The only way to save the My Violent Torpedo of Truth show would be to showcase Charlie Sheen's message with the talent of local acts... As a self-proclaimed Vatican assassin warlock, Charlie Sheen would sound best if his multimillion-dollar megalomaniac rant was accompanied by the Satanic hip-hop noise of Denver's Warlock Pinchers. Below, a crafty look at Charlie Sheen's domestic violence problem, and its ties to Colorado... As shown above, the Ladies Fancywork Society would gather on stage to spin Charlie Sheen's knotty yarns into a blanket of girlfriend shootings and knife threats that tie the tightly wound actor to a history of violence against women. Below, a Denver Police greetin' that can't be beaten... The final act and encore of the My Violent Torpedo of Truth show will be a performance by the Denver Police Department Dishonor Guard. It demonstrates how they take bad eggs like Charlie Sheen and beat them into a Denver omelet.
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More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "IKEA-themed party to celebrate Centennial mayor's speech: Kenny Be's Special Report."