Strange But True

Christina Jahnz Becomes Internet-Famous After Impaling Butt During Texting-Aided Crash

These days, a lot of people spend all their time figuring out how they can become Internet-famous. But Elizabeth's Christina Jahnz managed to do so in seconds -- by revealing that her butt had been impaled by a pole when she crashed her car while texting.

There's been a lot of exposure for Jahnz over the last few hours, in more ways than one. Details, photos, a video and even a meme below.

See also: Texting While Driving: A Passionate Defense of the New Ban

According to Jahnz, who spoke with 9News, she dropped off her daughter's saxophone at Elizabeth Middle School this past Wednesday morning, then sent a voice text to a friend as she drove away at around twenty miles per hour. But when looking at the phone to make sure the message had translated properly, she crashed her truck, with a guardrail pole bursting into the passenger compartment -- and through her buttocks. Firefighters had to saw off the pole on either side of her in order to extract her from the vehicle, Jahnz revealed. She was then rushed to nearby Parker Adventist Hospital, where the pole was removed and she was sewn back together. After forty stitches, she tells the station, she lost count. A heavily pixilated photo of Jahnz with the pole still in her body is included in 9News coverage, but the image obtained by 7News is larger and clearer. Here's a larger look at the cropped version seen above. If your first thought upon hearing about the incident was, "This story is a natural for Buzzfeed," well, you were right: From there, plenty of other outlets picked up the tale, as it were, with the British Daily Star giving it a U.K. tabloid-friendly spin via the headline "GRAPHIC CONTENT: Woman impaled through her BUM after texting while driving."

In addition, Jahnz inspired the following meme:

Actually, laughter may hurt Jahnz at this point. She was hospitalized for four days after the accident, and although she's expected to make a complete recovery, she'll need quite a bit of time to heal and is currently using a walker to get around.

Nonetheless, she deserves credit for setting aside modesty and privacy concerns in order to pass along the lesson she's learned. She puts it simply: "Don't text and drive."

Here's the 9News report:

Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts