Colorado Crimes: Alexander Kabelis has best excuses ever for tire-slashing spree

A blog yesterday noted the arrest of Alexander Kabelis, 31, for a series of tire slashings in Boulder; he was found with a steak knife in his pocket. Today, the Denver Post reports that Kabelis has confessed to the series of Goodyear-oriented hate crimes, adding that he was motivated by a bad relationship with his mom and the loss of his drivers license several years ago, not to mention "braces he was fitted with in the late 1990s at the behest of his orthodontist or dentist. He felt it was either that or the radiation poisoning he suffered as a result of his proximity to the Rocky Flats nuclear production facility located near Denver."

Shockingly enough, the cops didn't agree with his rationale and tell him to carry on. Instead, Kabelis was tossed in the hoosgow, where he's being held on $6,500 bail. Hopefully, the judge who hears the case in the future will give him credit for creativity.

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