Comic Ralphie May on why DIA sucks

So you thought the only thing scary about Denver International Airport was the blue Mustang of death? Not so, argues comedian Ralphie May. For him, the sheer size of the place is much more daunting. In a recent bit posted online at, the large-and-in-charge yukster rails against the long walks from one place to the other, which are made more difficult by the slip-on shoes he tends to wear while flying to make security checks go faster. Soon, he's sufficiently winded to make a political incorrect plea: "Hey! Black man on the golf cart!" Lucky thing he caught a ride. In his words, "They picked me up at gate 88. Gate 31? Kansas state line."

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Ralphie May - Denver Airport
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
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