Conan O'Brien Touts "Extreme Kayaking" in Animas River's "Pure Liquid Poison"

Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Yesterday, we shared video of Governor John Hickenlooper drinking water from the Animas River in an attempt to show that pollution from the environmental catastrophe caused by the Environmental Protection Agency's accidental discharge of millions of gallons in wastewater was beginning to dissipate.

Of course, he added an iodine pill to the fluid before swigging it down.

But this things-are-getting-better story line will be tougher to sell now that Conan O'Brien has weighed in.

During last night's broadcast, Conan introduced a crazy faux-advertisement for "The Colorado Natural Disaster Ultimate River Rapids Extreme Kayaking Adrenaladveture Tours, LLC," which portrayed the Animas WWE-style as a lethal force.

Among the words that smacked the screen: "THE WATER...IS LITERALLY...TRYING TO...KILL YOU."

The spot adds: "The river is now pure liquid poison. It's yours for the taking, bro — so grab your paddle and get your affairs in order — then shoot through over thirty miles of arsenic-laced, mustard-colored doom juice!"

We're guessing the Hickenlooper administration will not be promoting the video. See it below.

Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.