Environment

Conan O’Brien Touts “Extreme Kayaking” in Animas River’s “Pure Liquid Poison”

Yesterday, we shared video of Governor John Hickenlooper drinking water from the Animas River in an attempt to show that pollution from the environmental catastrophe caused by the Environmental Protection Agency's accidental discharge of millions of gallons in wastewater was beginning to dissipate. Of course, he added an iodine pill...
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Yesterday, we shared video of Governor John Hickenlooper drinking water from the Animas River in an attempt to show that pollution from the environmental catastrophe caused by the Environmental Protection Agency’s accidental discharge of millions of gallons in wastewater was beginning to dissipate.

Of course, he added an iodine pill to the fluid before swigging it down.

But this things-are-getting-better story line will be tougher to sell now that Conan O’Brien has weighed in.

During last night’s broadcast, Conan introduced a crazy faux-advertisement for “The Colorado Natural Disaster Ultimate River Rapids Extreme Kayaking Adrenaladveture Tours, LLC,” which portrayed the Animas WWE-style as a lethal force.

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Among the words that smacked the screen: “THE WATER…IS LITERALLY…TRYING TO…KILL YOU.”

The spot adds: “The river is now pure liquid poison. It’s yours for the taking, bro — so grab your paddle and get your affairs in order — then shoot through over thirty miles of arsenic-laced, mustard-colored doom juice!”

We’re guessing the Hickenlooper administration will not be promoting the video. See it below.

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Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.

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