| Art |

Country Club cabbage seeds grow faster than money trees: Kenny Be's Hip Tip

Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Even though household incomes in the Country Club neighborhood are three times higher than the citywide average, money does not grow on trees for residents there. The privileged citizens who live west of the Cherry Creek shopping district grow their money the old-fashioned way -- by sowing plenty of Country Club cabbage seed... As illustrated above, Country Club cabbage is a poverty-resistant variety that forms cabbage rolls of tightly packed one-hundred dollar bills. Perfect, round heads average about 22 ounces. Very solid interior of smooth leaves with a crisp texture that spends quickly and easily in the finer stores of the Cherry Creek Mall.

Garden Hints: Avoid planting in areas outside of tall masonry walls. Great performer on properties that are adjacent to the greens of the Denver Country Club. For larger rolls of bills, plant 24" apart. Space them closer at 18" for family friendly "allowance" sizes.

More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "Colorado summer vacation pre-Memorial Day mascot final exam: Kenny Be's Pop Quiz."

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.