Dan Maes: Five more terrifying ways Denver is turning into the United Nations

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There's been lotsa entertainment value in Colorado's primary races, from Tom Tancredo's guv run to Scott McInnis's plagiarism problems -- and now, Dan Maes's declaration that Denver's B-Cycle program might turn the city into "the United Nations" via wrongheaded environmental do-goodism. What other seemingly harmless things might cause us to become globalism-loving, freedom-challenged automatons? Here's our top five:

5. Local Starbucks branches continue to sell coffee from all over the world. What's wrong with sticking to blends from Dubuque, Iowa?

4. Area radio stations play too many songs by Britain's Got Talent performer Susan Boyle, squeezing out airplay for homegrown American Idol stars like Clay Aiken and the "Pants on the Ground" guy.

3. The name of Denver's World Trade Center hurtfully implies that Colorado isn't enough for us all by itself.

2. Metro Best Buy outlets still selling TV remotes with SAP buttons, nefariously promoting languages other than 'Merican.

1. Street-side recycling programs send a message that we should be conserving resources, which is bad for reasons we'll think of after running over a B-Cycle in our Hummer.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


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