Dan Maes résumé rewrite highlights campaign experience: Kenny Be’s Worst-Case Scenario

He may have finished in third place, but there is no reason to fear for Dan Maes’s future or pity his prospects. If the governor’s race taught us anything, it is that Dan’s greatest strength is résumé writing. From his former jobs to his current campaign, this is a man who could describe the act of dishwashing as “the implemention of dispersing agents to support a coordinated effort of multiple sanitation priorities.”

Here’s how we imagine his new résumé will look.

The rest of Dan Maes’s rewritten résumé will have to contain new edits reflecting all that was revealed during his campaign. Page two below contains his experience from undercover squealer to self-made wheeler-dealer…

More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: “Team Edward or Team Jacob for Colorado Governor?: Kenny Be’s Worst-Case Scenario.”