Dear Stoner: What’s the best container for pot? I see all these expensive jars but have yet to find anything that works better than my $2 Mason jar.
Dear Quail: For some sad reason, many potheads fail to see your wisdom. Maybe people just get bored with Mason jars and want to switch things up after staring at the same container for years, but I really don’t get it. Smoke shops and dispensaries alike use fancy jars with “pop and seal” technology, or stackable plastic containers with nothing more than a screw top, and while they might look a little cooler than a boring Mason jar, they don’t come close to keeping the air out as well. I’ve had $20 pop-and-seal jars that let my weed get dry just as fast as a pill bottle, and since then I’ve stayed true to my mini-sized Mason. Still, it’s a lot of fun to walk into a home-goods store like Bed Bath & Beyond or the Container Store and casually say, “I’m looking for something to store my marijuana.” Even if you just want Mason jars, it’s worth the look on an employee’s face.
Unfortunately, jars aren’t the only product in the cannabis industry that have become a giant waste of money. Never spend extra cash on a bong cleaner when isopropyl alcohol and epsom salts work better at cleaning glass than any branded chemical out there. And a toilet-paper roll with a dryer sheet wrapped around the end works just as well as — if not better than — any stupid $20 plastic tube that claims to do the same. Stoner MacGyver, man: Try to be like him.
Dear Stoner: You’re the weed expert, so tell me: What the hell was Brock Osweiler smoking when he decided to leave Denver for the Texans...in Texas?!
Dear Dale: Hey, don’t blame cannabis for Brock’s decision. Whatever he may or may not have been smoking, there’s no marijuana strain I know of that would make anyone that delusional.
Just kidding, Brock. (I know you’re an avid reader of Ask a Stoner.) Take the money and run away from the pressure — I don’t blame you. All the weed in the world wouldn’t cure the stress of following up Peyton Manning and a Super Bowl victory. Just be warned: You’ll never find anything as dank as you did here in Houston, except for that awful humid weather.
Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or call the potline at 303-293-2222.
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.