Politics

Delegating Denver #37 of 56: North Carolina

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North Carolina

Total Number of Delegates: 134 Pledged: 115 Unpledged: 19

How to Recognize a North Carolina Delegate: Ahh, the Land of the Sky — such a lovely state, full of beautiful people who are impossible to understand. The only reason that John Edwards is not the 2008 Democratic National Convention nominee is because of the way he talks. No wonder Tar Heels get so momicked, they do so love to chew the fat! You might could say that they'll be the youngerns down to the convention who are fixin' to engage all y'all in some conversations but are frustrated that no one can undertstand them. They do speak the English language, interspersed with these common expressions: "Jeet yet?" means "Are you hungry?"; "Imonna star, yonta drink?" means "I'm going to the store. What flavor of Coke (orange, Sprite, Pepsi, etc.) would you like?" Although a seemingly courteous phrase, be wary of the ever-present passive-aggressive "Well, bless your/his/her heart," as it is usually followed by an insulting folksy wisecrack such as "But your hats done got your hair all goobered up" or "Too bad about your/his/her face." Both males and females wear brightly colored sweatsuit ensembles made by Winston-Salem-based Champion Sportswear. Be careful not to compliment delegates’ outfits by saying "How nice!," because that's the expressions North Carolinians use to say "Fuck you!"

Famous North Carolinians: First American-born Anglo baby Virginia Dare; journalists Edward R. Murrow, David Brinkley, Charles Kuralt and Howard Cosell; storytellers Thomas Wolfe and Tom Robbins; cartoonist Nick Galifianakis; musicians Thelonious Monk, Roberta Flack, Doc Watson, John Coltrane, Funkadelic George Clinton, Tori Amos, Loudon Wainwright III, Ben Folds, Jo-Jo Hailey, Ryan Adams and all Archers of Loaf bandmembers; actors Andy Griffith, Pam Grier (Foxy Brown), Jaime Pressly (My Name Is Earl), Michael C. Hall (Dexter) and scream queen Mary Elizabeth Winstead; funnymen Zach Galifianakis and Gallagher.

Famous North Carolina Democrats: Fourth first lady of the United States and snack-cake inventor Dolley Madison; eleventh president of the United States James K. Polk; seventeenth president of the United States Andrew Johnson; Chairman of the Senate Watergate Committee Sam Ervin; 22nd White House chief of staff Erskine B. Bowles; first openly gay U.S. Senate candidate Jim Neal.

Famous North Carolinians With Denver Connections: Nineteenth governor of Colorado Elias M. Ammons; Littleton forefather and street namesake Joseph W. Bowles; Colorado Open Lands board of directors member Russell B. Caldwell; Colorado Rockies minor-league coach Stu Cole; Hit & Run banjo player Andy Thorn.

State Nickname: The Tarheel State, The Turpentine State, The Old North State, Land of the Sky (official); The Mash the Button State, The Fertilizer State, Land of the Second-Hand Smoke (unofficial) Population: 9,061,032 Racial Distribution: 68% white, 22% black, 1% Native American, 2% Asian, 7% Hispanic Per Capita Personal Income: $28,235 Unemployment: 7%

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Sean Cronin