Denver Auto Show reveals the city's greenest cars: Kenny Be's Special Report

The fuel efficient cars shown at the Denver Auto Show this weekend will never be as green as the leaf-covered 1976 Mercury Capri II shown in the picture above. And alternative fuels and hybrid technology will never match the low energy-impact scores of Denver's parade of parked classics... The city that puts on old Bel-Airs... The butterscotch-colored four-door 1954 Chevrolet Bel Air shown above spends its golden years basking in the warm sun as a piece of yard art. The beauty of the two-tone, four-door 1957 Chevrolet Bel-Air sedan pictured above is highlighted by solar-powered chrome. The 1964 four-door Chevrolet Bel-Air pictured above emits zero tons of carbon -- as long it sits abandoned in this empty lot.

Below, cars parked on grass, never waste gas...

Saving gas is a grass... The 1962 Buick Invicta convertible parked on the lawn in the picture above allows the non-driver to enjoy fuel savings without sacrificing style or comfort. In addition to saving $15,000 per year on gas, the grass-parked 1962 PV544 Volvo Sport pictured above can also boast the highest safety rating of all cars off of the road. No matter how tiny and cramped your costly new alternative-fuel car gets, the 1949 Plymouth P18 Special Deluxe four-door sedan pictured above will always be a greener, cleaner choice -- primarily because it has four flat tires and a non-working engine, and the windows are broken out. Below, American muscle cars get the best curbside gas mileage... From hot rods to not rods... When parked in the same spot for a month (between street sweepings), the 1967 Dodge Charger shown above can utilize the Earth's rotation to boast an average fuel economy of 747,360 miles/gallon. The square footage of the car and houses pictured above are nearly equal, but the parked 1974 Mercury Marquis gets about 59 percent better gas mileage. The rusting 1973 Plymouth Duster pictured above was recently named by J.D. Power and Associates as one of the top-ten most fuel efficient never-driven cars. Below, the high price of gas has people pining for beetles... Out of Beetle juice... The owner of the 1970 Volkswagen Beetle shown above is helping to save the environment AND disposable income by keeping the car parked on this City Park West street. The days of cheap oil are fading as fast as the paint on the Volkswagen Beetle and van pictured above. As seen in the picture above, families who don't commute together don't pollute together. Below, every Auto show has its disappointments, and its surprises... When bad cars go good... He may get no respect, but as seen above, the 1959 Ford Edsel Ranger never tires of the Denver Auto Show. By parking the custom 1949 DeSoto pictured above, the owner can save enough on gas to get half of one arm tattooed and attend thirteen rockabilly shows. Cars under covers make the best Earth lovers. Below, my personal favorite car in the Denver Auto Show... In my opinion, the 1976 BMW 2002 is the most gracefully designed car ever produced. That it sits in the driveway of a low-slung mid-century modern home that sports the house number of 2345, proves that this is the home of the coolest person in Denver.

More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "Dancing with the stars of Denver Mayor's race: Kenny Be's Fotochop Friday."

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