Does Anyone Want to See the Outline of Barbra Streisand's Breasts?

Like practically everyone else in the known universe with an e-mail address, I regularly receive loads o' spam, much of which comes in cycles. Granted, there are some constants: Long live Cialis! But on some months, I'll be inundated with, say, an unusual number of offers for low, low mortgages -- and when their volume finally diminishes, I'll suddenly be hit by several weeks' worth of Hallmark cards allegedly sent to me by close, personal friends I've never met before, or bargain deals on OEM software, whatever the hell that is.

Lately, however, I've been getting regular invitations to gawk at photos of celebrity women who aren't wearing bras -- a becomingly modest notion in a day and age when hardcore porn is about as difficult to find as oxygen molecules. Most of the women featured in the subject lines of these messages make perfect sense: "Lindsey Lohan goes bra-less," "Kirsten Dunst goes bra-less, "Jessica Alba goes bra-less." But lately, these three women have been joined by a less likely Hollywood chest: Barbra Streisand.

Barbra Streisand? Seriously? She's 65 years old, for Christ's sake! Where was the camera? Down by her knees? And if we're supposed to get fired up at the thought of scoping Babs' hooters, who's next? Barbara Bush?

Come on, spammers! If you send any photos of Barbra Streisand, make damn sure she's wearing a bra! A really good one! -- Michael Roberts

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts