Eight Conversations You're Sure to Overhear on Thanksgiving

At the Thanksgiving table, you can count on passing around dish after dish of food, filling and refilling cups with various types of booze, and getting stuck in endless awkward conversations. Here are eight of the most common things you'll hear from family members tomorrow.

See also: The Five Weirdest Thanksgiving Foods This Year

8) New boyfriend/girlfriend called by the ex's name Whether it happens to you or another family member, someone will be called by the wrong name at the holiday dinner. Chances are you only see the extended family on a few key dates each year, so you'll just have to grin and bear it when your cousin twice removed by marriage calls your dinner date the name of your high school sweetheart.

7) Sweet little nothings between parents After a jug or three of Riunite sweet red wine, you may notice your parents getting uncomfortably closer as they mash the potatoes and stir the gravy. Once the pet names start coming out, grab the bottle and make a run for the living room.

6) Who's in prison/rehab At some point between the stuffed mushrooms and the yams, someone will undoubtedly bring up the black sheep of the family -- regardless of whether they're within earshot. Family drama is appreciated when it's on television, but it's not quite as tasty when you're part of the reality show.

5) "Can you loan me a few bucks?" Thanksgiving provides the perfect opportunity for Aunt Millie and Uncle Sal to ask the rest of the family for a substantial loan so they can open a smoothie shop since their bakery didn't really work. And the festive atmosphere gives you the perfect opportunity to remind them that while alcohol might fuel their ambition, it won't pay the bills.

4) Wedding bells Even if you're introducing your significant other to the family for the first time, someone at Thanksgiving dinner is bound to ask when they can expect a wedding invitation. Senile grandparents and preteen cousins will most likely be the culprits who come up with this conversation topic.

3) Kids, grandkids and great-grandkids Piggybacking off the above, any couple that's been together for more than five minutes will undoubtedly be asked when babies can be expected. For those in their twenties, parents will begin hinting at the idea of wanting grandkids. And those in their thirties can expect parents and grandparents to begin pleading to see the next generation

2) "How's the job search going?" The recent college graduate can't avoid this conversation. In fact, if you graduate in May and still haven't found a job by Thanksgiving, this will surely be the day's hottest topic.

1) Weight loss or weight gain Whenever someone shows up after losing a significant amount of weight or, more likely, gaining a few pounds, that person will be admired/judged/mocked. The best solution? Wear loose clothes, keep them guessing -- and keep eating. Keep the awkward conversations going with Lauren on Twitter at @laureneverytime.

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Lauren Archuletta is a contributor for Westword's arts section, covering Denver's health and wellness scene. Follow her work for tips on cheap workouts and which yoga classes include mimosas and beer.