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Eight Products We Wish Peyton Manning Would Endorse

Peyton Manning will go down in history as one of the greatest Broncos quarterbacks, perhaps second only to John Elway himself. But the trouble is that we have to share him — with his original team, the Colts; with most of Indiana, which still loves him like a prodigal son; and with the rest of the world that has come to know and love him because of his prolific endorsement deals.

And although he already hawks quite a bit of product, he has the potential to push so much more. 

There are so many advertising worlds Peyton can conquer — so many more commercials we can enjoy, so many more jingles that can earworm their way into our collective consciousness, and so many more products that would make sense for Peyton to push with that Manning charm.

Peyton, might we suggest you start with these?

8. Mutual of Omaha
Yeah, Manning would probably have to give up his super-popular Nationwide campaign, but, heck, Nationwide doesn’t have his now-proprietary “Omaha, Omaha” call in its name. Granted, this is a campaign that needs to happen sooner rather than later, as the public's collective memory (if not that of football fans) can be short. It’s a perfect fit...for a while, anyway.

7. Ragú
Peyton’s love of the chicken parmesan sandwich has very nearly become more memorable than the fact that he declared his passion for the parm during an insurance company's commercial. Why not parlay that into something actually connected with the chicken parm, like jarred sauce? Better yet, get Ragú, Tyson chicken, Oroweat bread and Tillamook cheese to all pitch in for one gigantic chicken-parm-you-taste-so-good spectacle of corporate synergy? Genius.


6. Robes
Is there a robe manufacturer for whom Peyton could pimp? He’s already wearing that thin little robe on all his DirectTV “Peyton on Sunday Morning” commercials, from his own home to the grocery store to a park bench. Slap the number 18 on the back and do it up in two color schemes (orange and blue and white and blue, of course) and watch those suckers sell like hotcakes (at least in a lot of the Central and Mountain time zones).

5. Manwich
Considering his healthy base of sandwich-related expertise, Peyton could call this the Manningwich. Say it with us, Peyton: "Supeer-i-or to chicken parm." 

Continue to keep counting down our four top picks for products we wish Peyton Manning would endorse.

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Teague Bohlen is a writer, novelist and professor at the University of Colorado Denver. His first novel, The Pull of the Earth, won the Colorado Book Award for Literary Fiction in 2007; his textbook The Snarktastic Guide to College Success came out in 2014. His new collection of flash fiction, Flatland, is available now.
Contact: Teague Bohlen