Lists

Eleven Weirdest Posts on Colorado Springs Confessions


The Colorado Springs Confessions Facebook page is, in a word, crazy.

Granted, we can't vouch for the authenticity of each and every posted item.

But the tales definitely run the gamut, encompassing the bizarre, the disgusting, the hilarious, the random and the inexplicable, sometimes all at once.

We'd planned to highlight the ten most memorable items, but we overshot the mark.

Continue to check out the photo-illustrated top eleven.

Number 11:  What a Waste
I shit on my neighbor's truck last week. I ate a bunch of prunes all day and let it go all over his hood. It was fucking epic. I laughed so hard watching him gag and try to hose it off the next morning. Why, you ask? He's always screaming at his wife and kids, and never lets his dogs come inside, and plays the most fucking obnoxious country music at stupid loud volumes at night. Not to mention his drunk tirades around the neighborhood, like yelling at the kids for riding their bikes on the sidewalk in front of his house. He's an asshole so I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. I'm not sorry.
Number 10: Three's Company
Since i have seen posts about sex. Here is one. Im a happy married guy. I think my wife is hot, but she can be very bland when it comes to sex. I Think about threesomes mff and using toys and some bondage with her all the time. I've thrown clues and hints out to her, but she is like bla. I try to watch porn with 3somes so she will get a clue.
Number 9: C'mon PPL
I hate when people use short hand text. I have to Urban Dictionary a lot of this shit and wonder why people don't actually take the extra two seconds to actually write a word. You're not a thirteen year old getting their first phone in 2001. Type words out.
Number 8: Walmart Special
When I was a teen both of my parents secured part-time cashiering jobs at the Wal-Mart on North Academy. One would shop while the other was working and go to their line. The one on shift would ring up a false price for just about every item that was rung up. I once witnessed my mother purchase a brand new stereo for .32 cents for my sister's birthday. They never knew that I was aware of their scheme. During that period, I got just about everything I ever wanted from that place, I thought I was one lucky kid. My parents never got caught.

Number 7: Animal Hater
To the ass bag that hit a cat on Manitou Ave today and then drove off like nothing happened, FUCK YOU. I'm not a huge fan of cats but I cried, the poor thing was just trying to cross the road. The least you could have done was stop to make sure it was okay.
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts