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Fake Fan: Raiders Suck

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Another week, another game, another chance to fake your way into Bronco fandom with a few choice lines. Try getting the lonely guy in the Broncos cap at the bar chatting with these lines and see if it doesn’t get you a free drink. It’s worked for me more than once.

This week’s game: We played the Raiders, a hated rival, and won in another down-to-the-wire game after it looked like we lost.

The offense could be awesome if we could stop choking in the red zone. (Denver keeps getting close, but failing to score when it counts.)

Can you believe we almost lost to the Raiders? I would have been pissed all week! (Losing to the Raiders is like losing a war to France.)

Shanahan’s a mastermind all right – an evil mastermind! (Coach Mike Shanahan is nicknamed the Mastermind. See here for the evil explanation)

That lightning delay sucked. (The second quarter was delayed for lightning. This will prove you were watching.)

Did you see that Marcus Thomas interception? Guess those backflips paid off! (Rookie defensive lineman Thomas has been known to do backflips in training camp. He snagged an interception, which is rare for defensive linemen.)

General Tip of the Week

You can’t fake being a fan unless you know a little history. Here are the basics. The Broncos played in six Super Bowls and won two, the last two they were in. The players that keyed those two wins were John Elway and Terrell Davis. Elway, longtime quarterback now retired, is unquestionably the greatest player of all time. Davis would have been the greatest running back of all time if his knees wouldn’t have given out. – Cory Casciato

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.