Finding Dubya's Marbles

Given all the “yee haw!” that’s gone on in the White House since Texan George W. Bush took office in the year 2000, a roundup seems quite appropriate, and Rik Clay of 20/08 Productions in Boulder, is organizing just that.

The Great Marble Round-Up is a call to action for the generous return of what Clay believes are President Bush’s lost marbles. To participate, people can mail marbles to the White House using first-class mail on July 1, so that they will arrive together for the ease and convenience of retrieval by their rightful owner on July 4-6.

The goal of this “great humanitarian event” is to put Bush “in a state fit to go about his own affairs when he no longer resides at the White House,” according to Clay’s website, MissingPresident.com. The loser (of the marbles) will no doubt be thrilled at their reappearance and forever indebted to all participants.

Although the website offers a contact e-mail for anyone who needs marbles to send, I recommend procuring them by your own means, as I didn’t get a reply from Clay. Then again, the site also points out that Clay – who describes himself as “an entrepreneur looking to make the world more light-hearted and an all-around better place to be” – is hard to track down.

Also on the site are Missing President rulers, which chronologically list the nation’s chief executives – except for a gap right where you-knoW-Who Would be. On sale at $13 for a two-pack, $24 for four and $300 for a case of eighty, the rulers have Obama penciled in at the very top.

The Hillary Clinton alternatives were recently discontinued and are significantly less hopeful, but perhaps more valuable as collectors items. Buy a box, and give ‘em away! Stock up on marbles and share ‘em! Tell all your friends and family!

Marbles can be sent to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C. 20500-0001, and you just might want to leave off a return address. – Crow Jonah Norlander

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