4

Ifiok Etuk is suburban superhero Aurora Wraptight: Kenny Be's Hip Tip

Aurora Wraptight

Real name: Ifiok Etuk; Occupation: Soul feeder; Suburb of operations: Aurora; Eyes: All-seeing; Hair: All-growing

Suburban superhero skill: After years of thankless toil in the corporate ranks of Taco Bell, Aurora Wraptight learned that his path to true happiness would actually start by selling his delicious homemade burritos to happy drunks after the nightclubs closed...

Aurora Wraptight gained much knowledge through his early burrito sales, and he now possesses a wide variety of soul-feeding powers. His greatest skill is to win the control of people's hearts through their stomachs. By this means he is able to make reality itself appear to change in incredible ways. Aurora Wraptight is capable of strengthening relationships simply by cooking and serving of Nigerian dishes. By sharing an Egusi & Ogbono soup at his Hessini Roots International Cafe, couples can learn how to relate and satisfy one another and children can learn to love vegetables.

He is also capable of reading the minds of his customers. Aurora Wraptight has collected these thoughts and strung them together in A Romance Truth. This self-published book, much like his menu, is geared toward people who probe deeper questions in an attempt to develop a greater understanding of themselves and their loved ones. Like his burritos, Aurora Wraptight is able to contain all of this goodness due to his tightly wound sense of justice.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send: