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Irony and Booze Reign at the Kick Ball

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The 2007 Denver Kickball Coalition (DKBC) officially ended its sixth season in style on Saturday night with its annual Kick Ball, a prom-themed awards ceremony and dance party at the Hi-Dive, 7 South Broadway. The night, besides being fantastically drunken, was predictably bittersweet for me (as a member of Team Rarebird) and the league’s 200+ players — Everyone needed a little relief from such a long season (nearly twenty weeks of competition, including a preseason, an all-star game and playoffs) of sore muscles, unforgiving sunburn, post-game parties and fierce hangovers, but goddamn does it suck that summer’s over. Only seven more months until next season’s draft party.

Some highlights:

Style: After five months of seeing this crew every Sunday wearing red onesy leotards (Tag Team), straight jackets with chains (the Convicted), neon-colored high socks (Lazerblade Assassins), and a plethora of cut-off jean short-shorts, pink nut-hugging underpants and rabbit suits, it was refreshing to see most of the crowd in ties, suits, dresses and heels, even if much of it was done with great ironic panache. Party banners, strands of glittering stars and colored balloons gave the night that extra pre-prom-fuck touch.

Trading Cards: Last year’s end-of-the-season parting gift and Kick Ball party favor was DKBC-logo stickers in every team color. This year, Rick Sullivan (of the Convicted) and friends put together full-color trading cards for just about every player in the league. The cards featured candid photos of players in action, as well as their team logo and all-star insignia for those who were voted onto the two all-star teams. Every player in attendance was given their own card for free before organizers sold out of more than fifty assorted packs at $2 a pop. My card – which shows me in my bright-green baseball pants, cut-off jersey shirt and green headband – was especially awesome, and the handful of copies currently in circulation will no doubt be hawked on the Internet for hundreds of dollars.

Memories: Local video duo the Lockerpartners once again filmed the DKBC Boot championship game from all sorts of in-the-action angles and then sliced, diced and soundtracked the footage into a short highlight video. The game, which ended in a 4-0 victory for the Shitkickers and was sadly short on impressive action, seemed much more awesome in its Lockerpartners form. Thanks for taking this shit seriously, girls. Y’all do great work.

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Awards: Fancy certificates for everything from best shit-talker to most improved to most heart were awarded. Some people clapped and cheered. Others missed the whole thing because they were outside smoking.

Shots: Were taken in great number, prompting furious dancing, rampant chain-smoking and a slew of sentimental hugs.

There were other highlights for me personally – including a blind taste test between Schlitz and PBR (PBR “won” due mostly to the fact that it was draught and the Schlitz was from a can) and watching Rob “3” Burleson (of Team Hi-Dive and local rock bands Lion Sized and d.biddle) one-biting a cupcake for a dollar – as I’m sure there were for others in attendance. But the ultimate highlight? Besides all the shots and hugs? Sleeping in. All fucking day. Cheers, DKBC. See you in seven months.

-- Drew Bixby

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