Jobbed: Hey gamers, it's your dream come true -- unless it's a scheme to kill you

Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

The Job: Telemarketing person

Pay: $8 an hour

Qualifications as posted online: "Are you a gamer? Do you play computer or online games that aren't super involved and allow you the time and freedom to make phone calls? You might be a good fit for our office position. You must have your own laptop with Skype installed and a headset. You also must have a monthly subscription to Skype-Out Unlimited (monthly subscription is like $2.99 per month) so that you can make outbound calls to the U.S. and Canada. You must live in or near the Aurora Mall. We are really super picky on who we hire. You have to be able to converse professionally with companies. If you talk like a gangsta or can't hold an intelligent conversation, we won't hire you. We will conduct a phone interview for those we are interested in the position -- you will be required to play your game and go through the call script to see if you can do it."

Responsibilities: "We are looking for a few smart people to work for approximately a four-hour shift on a daily or every other day basis -- either morning (8 a.m. to noon) or afternoon (noon to 4 p.m.) -- we will have a schedule that you can sign up for time slots. Your job will be to call a company and offer to e-mail them our 'Welcome Packet' for our travel services. Basically, you just call the company and ask for the person that arranges the corporate travel (we provide the phone numbers and you just cut and paste them into Skype), then ask for their contact info and then e-mail them a Welcome Packet -- it's really easy. The problem is that it is pretty boring work -- so we are open to letting you play your computer games while you do it, so long as your games are not super intense and involved (action games are not good -- role playing games are good, board games online are good, etc -- if you have other things you like to do online that will allow you to still make phone calls, that might be fine too). We do require you to input contact data into a database and send the e-mails, so that will take a little time away from your games. We monitor your input into the database, so if you aren't working or you are entering crappy data or you aren't keeping pace, we will not retain you."

What it doesn't say: You are a loser. Seriously, if you can't stop playing video games long enough to hold a job, you probably don't deserve to be employed in the first place. But, seriously, if you can get this job, you've got it made, tool. On the other hand, there's also the possibility that whoever posted this job has actually concocted a ruse to lure you in so that he can kill you, boil your limbs and eat you. It's the perfect crime: No one would notice you absence, since you spend all your time in your room "gaming" anyway.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.