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The Job, as posted online: New Year's Day Masseuse

Responsibilities: Seeking a relaxing massage for one or two couples on New Years Day (2 to 4 people, Straight, No Sexual Innuendos) 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM on New Years Day.

Qualifications: Certified Massage Therapist preferred

Pay: Best rate

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What it doesn't say: "No Sexual Innuendos" Riiiigghhtt. That's why you're posting on Craigslist. This might not be the right way to kick off a new decade.

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