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Kenny Be's Yard Arteology: Gnomosexuality

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The study of neighbors through their lawn ornaments...

Figure 43. West Wash Park. One gnome goes down while another gets mounted.

Gnomes were first introduced to gardening in the mid-1800s by a German ceramicist who sold his decorations to local gardeners based on their reputations of being "nocturnal helpers of mundane tasks." The gnomes pictured in figure 43 demonstrate that they balance their tedious nighttime garden chores by openly playing with themselves, and each other, during the daylight hours.

That these gnomes are allowed to cavort openly on the front lawn of this West Washington Park home suggests that the homeowner is a proud gnomosexual rights supporter. Allowing the gnome pictured on the far left to lie face down in the grass while another satisfies himself from a distance, indicates a belief that gnomosexuality is perfectly natural and should be permitted in public.

The paired gnome sculpture to the right of the photo, showing one gnome bouncing on the back of his stooped partner, intimates in a belief in the premise, as well as the sanctity and legality, of gnomosexual marriage.

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