Lauren Boebert's Week of Inflammatory Busywork | Westword

Boebert Beat: Don't Kid Around With National Parents Union

The Colorado congresswoman's calendar included stops at a high school and the jail holding January 6 insurrectionists.
Lauren Boebert "represents" Colorado's 3rd in the U.S. House, but only with the air quotes.
Lauren Boebert "represents" Colorado's 3rd in the U.S. House, but only with the air quotes. YouTube
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Lauren Boebert is not one to go quietly into that good night — or go quietly anywhere, it seems. A rational person might see a very near loss in her first re-election bid as a warning to ameliorate more extreme positions, to re-orient her views to better reflect and serve the people of her district. Instead, U.S. Representative Boebert has doubled down on her agenda: to serve herself and her own clearly twisted view of the world. This should be apparent by now to voters in Colorado's 3rd Congressional District: Rational behavior is not Boebert's strong suit.

Boebert’s flurry of action this past week spotlights this irrational need to call attention to herself, as well as her inability to understand the complexities of the political world in which she’s found herself. Her legislation is meant to invoke fury among the smallest minds of her constituency — people who don’t comprehend the way the country is moving forward and want to claw at the imagined past in a way that makes them more comfortable, that insinuates that they’re the ones who know better, the ones who define what it is to be an American, even a human being.

To be fair, Boebert does this strictly from the trenches. She’s not condescending, which is part of her charm for supporters. She’s right there in the ditch of ignorance with them, singing praises of mirage mountaintops.

Here’s just a short list of the random bullshit — er, legislative activity — that your representative has indulged in recently, CD3:

On March 15, Boebert spoke with students at Dolores High School. Simple enough, right? Not to the editorial board of the nearby Durango Herald, who wrote that while the paper's editors “strongly support students engaging in civic matters…Lauren Boebert’s visit…ventured beyond governance and into political territory.” Specifically, the closed-door Q&A turned into a political rally, including a heavily Boebert-positive version of House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s election in an unprecedented fifteen rounds of voting. But at least Boebert didn't talk again about the supposed “litter boxes” in local schools for students who identify as cats — a bizarre and unfounded swipe at transgender rights (and not her last).

On March 22, the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel reported that despite a longstanding and vehement opposition to congressional earmarks, Lauren Boebert is suddenly open to them. In a March 10 joint letter to Democratic chairs of the House and Senate appropriations committees, she'd said that it’s “wrong that career politicians want to line their own pockets.” That was right in line with what she’d proclaimed on the subject back in December 2021: “The swamp creatures are working together to raise the freakin’ debt ceiling. This is totally corrupt and screws the American people right in their faces, blatantly in broad daylight. Fake Republicans.” But now, apparently, Boebert has decided that corruption is okay, and so is screwing the American people right in their faces — blatantly, in broad daylight.
On March 23, Boebert appeared at a Subcommittee on Water, Wildlife and Fisheries hearing meant to discuss the Endangered Species Act (ESA) in relation to its fiftieth anniversary, with a focus on de-listing the grey wolf and the grizzly bear. For Boebert, this was the perfect stage upon which to discuss abortion, and she even brought her own pictures, which she probably took from the Big Photo Album of Intolerance that she keeps next to her gun shrine. As reported in Newsweek, all this performative condescension was intended to make the inappropriately timed case that babies should be classified as endangered. Which really only served to prove that “endangered” is yet another governmental term with which Boebert is officially unfamiliar.

Friday, March 24, was an especially busy day. Mid-morning, Boebert crowed about two of her amendments to the Parents Bill of Rights that passed the House. The bill is considered by most to be a political stunt, an empty Republican promise from the midterm elections that's unlikely to ever see the Senate. Rather, it's something the GOP can point to and say, “See, we tried!” while also fanning the flames of carefully crafted rage on the part of worried parents who (as in all other generations since the beginning of time) don’t understand what in the hell is up with their kids. The Fox/GOP answer to that question: Gub’mint is out to getcha. And because this futile gesture of insincerity isn’t enough on its face, Boebert had to throw in her own useless two cents. First, that parents should be informed if a teacher addresses a student by “different” pronouns or accommodates changes in locker-room or bathroom access. And second, that parents should be alerted if a school allows transgendered students to use the restroom or participate in sports. Here’s all you need to know about the Parents Bill of Rights: as reported in the Washington Post, it was called a “mockery of parents rights” by the National Parents Union.

And finally, later that day, she joined fellow representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz and other deplorables in a visit to a Washington, D.C., jail where some accused insurrectionists from the January 6 attack on the Capitol are being held. Taylor Greene was busy painting a picture for the press of their  unconstitutional treatment, despite there being none. According to NBC News, Boebert hugged Micki Witthoeft, the mother of Ashli Babbitt, the Capitol rioter shot and killed by police. (Why Witthoeft was present is a mystery, because this event wasn't a carefully crafted political stunt, nosiree Bob.) Gaetz, for his part, did nothing but stand there with nice hair. The most remarkable thing Gaetz has done in the past year is to somehow dodge any sort of consequences for sex offenses everyone pretty much knows he committed. (Prince Andrew and Bill Cosby have been overheard to point out that this is hardly fair.) A few cautionary words for Boebert: If you don't want to be lumped in with Taylor Greene, don't ride her coattails. And if you really don't want any more attention paid to your own actions surrounding the attempted coup of American government ("Today is 1776," remember?), then maybe stop celebrating those who were there attempting it.

So yes, a pretty busy week for Lauren Boebert. CD3 voters, if you don’t like what you see here, you have the ability to significantly free up her schedule come 2024.
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