Lauren Boebert’s Post-Election Life in Tweets

On Lauren Boebert's shelf: bullets and Rick Renner's Promotion!, all about "new realms of authority and responsibility." 
It's like this stuff writes itself.
On Lauren Boebert's shelf: bullets and Rick Renner's Promotion!, all about "new realms of authority and responsibility." It's like this stuff writes itself. YouTube
In a tweet that landed just in time for Christmas, Colorado’s gun-totin’ 3rd Congressional District Representative-elect Lauren Boebert said that she plans to challenge the electoral college vote for Joe Biden’s inevitable and absolutely legitimate presidency. This confirmation process is usually a rubber stamp by Congress, even if Boebert’s release explaining her position says that similar objections have been raised by members of Congress three times since 2001. The fact that these objections are barely recalled by anyone other than historians with a generous sense of footnote usage indicates that such moves haven't been super-effective.

“Several states removed voter safeguards during the 2020 elections that violated provisions in their respective state constitutions and the United States Constitution,” Boebert claimed, with neither evidence nor shame. “As a Representative sworn to defend the U.S. Constitution, it is my responsibility to object to the Electoral College results that were recorded under these circumstances.” (When reached for comment, the word “responsibility” said it was considering filing charges of abuse with linguistic authorities.)

This isn't Boebert’s first tweet to stand in stark contrast to the opinions and positions of many Coloradans, even those in the 3rd district — i.e., the people she was supposedly elected to serve. Before the pistol-packin’ Boebert starts shooting her mouth off in the House of Representatives, we decided to take a quick look back at other tweets that missed the target since her victory.

The Electoral College decides the winner of the election. Not CNN. Not MSNBC. Not Twitter. Not Facebook. Not the pundits. – November 3, 8:50 a.m.
And if not the Electoral College, the U.S. Supreme Court. And if not the U.S. Supreme Court, the people with guns. And if not the people with guns, God himself. And if even God won’t help Donald Trump, then we always have Second Amendment remedies for non-compliance, even in heaven. Amen.

Hey media, I know no one expects you to be fair, but instead of leading every article about me with ‘QAnon Supporter’ (which I don’t follow), maybe you could mention that I’m the first mom, first woman and the youngest person to represent CO-3 in Congress? – November 5, 2:57 p.m.
Hey, Representative Boebert, journalists are supposed to report the most salient facts about you as a politician; your age, gender and number of children do and should pale by comparison with your past comments praising QAnon (which you did follow through several YouTube channels until you deleted your account over the summer), whether or not you knew what you were talking about. But sure, here goes: "Young mom of four who makes ignorant comments about virulent domestic terror threat QAnon was elected to represent the Colorado 3rd, God help us." 

The media has no say in when elections are called. Just ask President Gore and President Dewey. –November 8, 12:56 p.m.
While it’s tempting to make an involved argument here addressing information that Boebert barely remembers from the 2000 election and one of the still photos in the Cheers opening credits, maybe it’s best to leave it at this: If you’re trying to talk up your pal Trump, probably best not to name-check the guy who, after being screwed by the Supreme Court, still gracefully conceded for the good of the nation. Read the room, Lauren. Or, you know, a book.

I hope all the liberals keep the whole unity mantra up no matter who actually ends up winning this election. – November 9, 12:32 p.m.
In other words: Reality is starting to rear its ugly, democratically sound head.

The people who have called us deplorables, racists, fascists, xenophobic, chumps and so much more are now the ones talking about “healing”. No, thank you. We have seen all we need with your kind. –November 10, 9:26 a.m.
Okay, seriously: If you’re going to claim in the first sentence that you’re not deplorable, racist, fascist, xenophobic or (my favorite) chumps, then maybe refrain from ending your last sentence by denouncing “your kind.”

If the founding fathers found out that a representative wanting to carry a gun is headline news, they wouldn’t even recognize the country they founded! – November 24, 6:26 p.m.
This tweet was Boebert responding to news coverage of the fact that she plans to carry a firearm on the floor of the House. But yes, point taken. The Founding Fathers also wouldn’t recognize an America without slavery. With women having the right to vote. With any minority serving in the People’s House. With the active disparagement of learning. With the miseducation of the public for the sake of power. And with any patriot feeling so small and afraid that they feel they have to bring a loaded .45 with them just to eat pancakes.

What is it with Senators from Massachusetts and Native American virtue signaling? – November 27, 10:20 a.m.
This was a comment on a re-tweet from Senator Ed Markey, who was talking about Thanksgiving as it related to the U.S. atrocities regarding Native Americans, but it was really more about punching-up at Senator Elizabeth Warren. Aside from the fact that Thanksgiving might actually be a pretty good opportunity for America to address its sins against Indigenous populations, the greater point was made by Westword reader Leah Davidson, commenting on our article comparing incoming and outgoing Interior secretaries Deb Haaland and David Bernhardt: “2020 was the year every boomer on Facebook learned to say ‘virtue signal.'”

I’ve always heard to “speak softly and carry a big stick.” I prefer to speak loudly and carry a Glock. –December 8, 4:52 a.m.
Boebert loves this tweet so much that it’s pinned to the top of her Twitter account. But it’s telling that her version of Teddy Roosevelt’s quote purposefully misses the point of the original: that a show of power is preceded by intelligent, polite, thoughtful consideration.

The Second Amendment had nothing to do with hunting. – December 17, 8:26 a.m.
This tweet lasted only two hours before it was deleted, as reported by ProPublica, which blessedly keeps track of the random spouting-off of politicians who should know better. While this claim by Boebert is surprisingly close to accurate, historically speaking, it was no doubt quickly disappeared because it admits the bullshit underlying one of the baseline arguments for the continued abuse of said amendment by gun nuts everywhere.

President Trump has changed the Republican Party evermore. – December 27, 10 a.m.
Truer words by Lauren Boebert — who’s a walking, talking, openly armed product of Trump’s sad and lasting influence on the Grand Old Party — may never have been uttered. Or at least tweeted.

Have a favorite Boebert tweet? Share it with us in a comment.
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Teague Bohlen is a writer, novelist and professor at the University of Colorado Denver. His first novel, The Pull of the Earth, won the Colorado Book Award for Literary Fiction in 2007; his textbook The Snarktastic Guide to College Success came out in 2014. His new collection of flash fiction, Flatland, is available now.
Contact: Teague Bohlen