Out of left field: Just read Michael Roberts's August 17 column on David Barsamian, "Leftoverture." In honor of Jeff Foxworthy, I have compiled twenty-something reasons you might be a left-wing redneck:
1) You have a poster of Noam Chomsky above your bed.
2) You pay attention to David Barsamian.
3) You think corporations are evil, yet pull down 50K at a nonprofit corporation.
4) You have a rent-controlled apartment paid for by your trust fund.
5) Your housekeeper shops for cruelty-free meat at the health-food store.
6) You're too stupid to make it in college and pillory the education establishment.
7) You are over fifty and talk about The System.
8) You're over thirty and still don't make any money in public radio.
9) You base your life on eating vegetables.
10) You long for the '70s, when you longed for the '60s.
11) You are surprised when high-schoolers completely ignore your "What's Happenin'?"
12) You think Melissa Etheridge is cutting-edge.
13) Your longtime girlfriend is, frankly, a whale -- yet moves to France with a Rastafarian.
14) You hate "hate." You hate people who hate. In fact, you want to kill people who hate -- right now!
15) You hate Republicans but forget to hate Democrats.
16) Your favorite activity is "sharing."
17) You think the food chain is evil.
18) You are totally committed to The Struggle Against the Corporate Empire that conspires to relegate the Worker to a subhuman level with illegal foreign competition. Pat Buchanan has your number on his Palm Pilot. You kill yourself.
19) You call your parents "Mom-person" and "Dad-person."
20) You call women "chairs."
21) You cry when you eat alfalfa sprouts -- 'cause they have lives, too.
22) You think logic is elitist.
23) You wish you were a dolphin.
Don't touch that dial! On Denver Community Television (Channel 57), the following all have received inspiration from Barsamian's Alternative Radio: What's Left, Mondays at 9 p.m. and Saturdays at 3 p.m.; Free Speech TV, Mondays at 10 p.m.; The Atheist Viewpoint, Mondays at 11 p.m. and Fridays at 5:30 p.m.; and The 100th Chomsky, Tuesdays at 7 p.m.
Uppity and coming: Julie Jargon's "Language Barrier," in the August 10 issue, obscures the link between the new "Spanish/English" school and the Bueno grant. The proponents of the new school plan to combine two successful but distinct learning models: Montessori and Dual Language. Will this marriage produce the same success as each of the individual approaches does? That is one of the big questions. The other is: Where will the money for this experiment come from? According to Councilwoman Debbie Ortega, DPS currently has neither the staff nor the money to train people for the new school. Ortega expects the Bueno grant to solve this problem.
To call Rita Montero, in particular, "arrogant, in-your-face" and "sharp-tongued" and then label this as "troublesome" in the very newspaper described by Brill's Content (April 2000) as "saucy, raw, funny, and not a little obnoxious" -- and its cow-booted female editor as someone who "loves to ruffle feathers" -- is puzzling. Aren't we in the land of Pat Schroeder, an icon for uppity women? But then, Pat Schroeder and Patty Calhoun are Anglo. Maybe Westword still thinks that here in the New West -- as in the Old West -- Hispanic ladies should know their place and "watch their mouth."
Doublespeak: In "Language Barrier," Rita Montero says, "You can't compete in this country if you can't speak English."
Response: We don't live in a vacuum, and we're not the only humans on this "blue marble." A bilingual or trilingual education is considered superior over a monolingual one -- and how can a monolingual society compete in (multilingual) global markets? Get a clue! It makes good business sense to have bi-/tri-lingually and bi-/tri-culturally educated businesspeople over the monolingual/monocultured.
"They'll turn out 'bi-illiterate' instead of bilingual, [Joseph] C'de Baca quips."
Response: Such optimism wears well on C'de Baca. If he is so sure that we have bi-illiterates now, he should point one out. They don't exist now and have never existed (unless the DPS produced them); they exist only in C'de Baca's pessimistic, mindless attitude. Is he an educated bi-illiterate?
C'de Baca: "These programs take on a life of their own, and as long as bilingual programs are perpetuated, there will need to be more money for more bilingual teachers, more training and a bureaucracy to support it."