Lucas Hinch After Gunning Down His Computer: "It Was Glorious"

Colorado Springs' Lucas Hinch committed murder on Monday.

He admits it.

As for the victim, it's been identified as Hinch's Dell computer, which he dispatched with eight gunshots.

And even though Hinch was cited in the assassination, he clearly doesn't feel bad about the slaying.

The item about Hinch on the Colorado Springs Police Department blotter couldn't be more straight to the point: "Man Kills His Computer."

According to the CSPD, officers responded on Monday, April 20, to an alley near the 2200 block of West Colorado Avenue, an area captured in the following interactive graphic. If you have problems seeing the image, click "View on Google Maps."

There, they found Hinch, who the CSPD report says "was fed up with fighting his computer for the last several months" — so "he took the computer into the back alley and fired eight shots into the computer with a handgun, effectively disabling it."

Plenty of us have fantasized doing the same thing. But it turns out that discharging a firearm within Colorado Springs city limits is against the law. As a result, Hinch received a citation.

Our attempts to reach Hinch have been unsuccessful thus far — but in an interview with the Los Angeles Times, he sounds like a man who feels the computer had it coming.

Prior to the assassination, he told the Times the Dell gave him "the blue screen of death." He conceded that "it was extremely frustrating. I reached critical mass."

That's when he grabbed his 9mm pistol, and after putting the computer in a spot where he could be certain no bullets would ricochet, he pulled the trigger again and again and again.

Afterward, he had no regrets. Far from it.

"It was glorious," he said. "Angels sung on high."

Our verdict: The computer got what it deserved.
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts